


When Forever Dies

by The_Risen_Phoenix



Category: Final Fantasy Type-0
Genre: Character Death, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Letters, M/M, Picnics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-18 14:17:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14854350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Risen_Phoenix/pseuds/The_Risen_Phoenix
Summary: Snapshots in time of interactions between Ace and Kurasame, and how their friendship helped to change them both.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

Legs buckling beneath him sending him to his knees, arm still raised as he offered his phantoma to the l'Cie Caetuna, Kurasame spared a moment to wonder if there was any way that this could have gone differently. If there had been a way where his sacrifice was not demanded by the Consortium, and where he did not have to leave Ace.

 

As his conciousness began to fade, he wondered if it were possible that Ace might remember him. Moments later, his body fell, life spent.

 

 

_10 years earlier._

 

Taking the Great Portal to the chocobo stables, Kurasame was feeling his sense of excitement build. He was on his way over to pick a chocobo for use on his first mission. An actual mission, not just a training exercise! He had been waiting for this moment for years, and he could barely stop himself from breaking out in smiles. It would surely ruin his reputation if anyone were around to witness that.

 

Appearing in a flash of red light, Kurasame quickly scanned his surroundings. He noticed that there were several workers scattered around here and there, the trainers, breeders, and helpers all bustling around busily. Heading towards one of the trainers, he was startled to hear quiet sounds of crying coming from one of the stalls.

 

Peering in, he saw what looked like a strange chocobo chick at first glance, but he quickly realised that it was a small blonde child curled up in the corner. Looking around to see if the child's parents were around, Kurasame decided to enter the stall to see what was wrong with the child. Perhaps it was just lost?

 

Hearing someone enter the stall, the child tearfully looked up, revealing tear stained cheeks, glistening blue eyes, a button nose and tiny rose bud lips. Currently his lips were trembling as he cast his gaze once more towards his cupped hands. Inside the small cradle his hands made was a sickly looking chocobo chick, newly hatched. Even from this distance, Kurasame could tell that the poor creature would not make it.

 

The little blonde child was stroking the poor thing with his finger tips, softly telling it that it would be ok, that he would grow up big and strong like his nest mates and run like the wind on swift legs. As Kurasame watched, the boy continued to speak even as the chick took it's last breath, shuddering in the small hands. Tears spilled anew down the pale cheeks, and Kurasame knelt down next to the boy.

 

“Hey,” He started softly. “You did all you could for it kid, gave it the best chance possible to live. But it wasn't meant to be, and he's not suffering any more.” Kurasame laid a gloved hand on the boy's head and stroked the fine blond strands gently.

 

“But, but we were going to get big together,” the little boy sobbed. “We were going to get big and I was going to become a cadet, and we were going to go on adventures together!” More tears fell from his eyes and landed upon the fluffy little body still cradled carefully within the boy's hands.

 

“I know that's what you wanted little one, but you'll always remember him and take him with you in your memories.” Kurasame felt bad about lying to the child, he hoped that he was too young to know that death erased the memories of the deceased after a little while. He hoped that his words would at least offer the child some comfort for now, even if in an hour he would not even remember why he was sad.

 

Nodding sadly the little boy quietly said, “Yeah I will. I'll always remember him.”

 

Smiling sadly, Kurasame gently cupped his hands around the little body of the chocobo chick and lifted it out of the small trembling hands. With a quiet command to wait there, he took the chick over to one of the handlers outside the stall.

 

“Ah, poor thing.” The handler cooed sadly. “That little 'un didn't want him to go alone, so he took him into the stall and stayed with him.” She heaved a heavy sigh. “If you pass him over, I'll make sure that he gets laid to rest properly then.”

 

Kurasame handed the little body over to the handler, and then went back to the stall to check on the child still sitting inside. The tears had cleared, and the boy was clearly confused as to why he had been crying in a chocobo stall, as he gave Kurasame a curious look.

 

“You were in here before.” He stated. Kurasame nodded in agreement. “Why am I in here? And who are you again?”

 

“My name is Kurasame.” He replied. “You are in this stall right now because you were waiting for me; I just had to run a quick errand before we picked out a chocobo for me to ride.” He didn't mention the dead chick, as the crystal seemed to have already made the boy forget.

 

“Ok that sounds great!” Exclaimed the boy. “My name's Ace!” The grin he flashed Kurasame was blinding in it's childlike enthusiasm and innocence. “Let's go then.”

 

Grabbing hold of Kurasame's hand, Ace all but dragged the poor teenager out of the stall and towards the paddocks filled with the giant feathery birds.

 

“I think you should pick a blue one,” the child enthused. “It will match your hair!”

 

The handler standing by the fence let out a laugh at the child's reasoning, quickly covering it up with a cough as Ace turned to frown at him.

 

“Although the reasoning is a little odd cadet, the child's choice is a good one. The blue chocobos are both quick and strong. They won't let you down in a fight or a race.”

 

“Ok Ace, is there a particular blue one that you think I should choose?” Kurasame humoured him. Ace scanned the blue chocobos quietly grazing in the field, before landing on a lone bird seemingly watching over the entire flock.

 

“That one.” He pointed out. The handler let out an impressed whistle.

 

“Dang this kid has a good eye. That bird is the cream of the crop, but I warn you now that he don't like people much and can be a real nasty beast when he wants to. But once he likes you, he will protect you with his life.”

 

“How come he is still available?” Kurasame queried.

 

“Last owner died, don't remember them, but the list we keep turns up a few unrecognised names every now and then. That's when we know that the birds can be reassigned. He's a picky bird, but you're welcome to give it a try if you like. Hey kid, why don't you go say hi.......oh shit!”

 

Kurasame looked alarmed at the handler's cry of alarm, and quickly looked around for Ace to protect him from any harm that might come his way. Not seeing the boy, he looked towards the testy blue chocobo only to see the small child walking fearlessly towards the bird.

 

Both Kurasame and the handler wanted to race towards the pair, but both knew that doing so could upset the bird and cause it to attack the boy. So they waited with baited breath as Ace came to a stop before the chocobo. Reaching out one small hand towards the bird, the blue chocobo peered quietly at him until it decided to lower his head so that the child could pet his crest feathers.

 

Running both hands along the feathers, Ace giggled as the big blue bird nuzzled it's beak into his chest. Beckoning the bird to follow, Ace made his way back over to the two waiting by the fence, big blue bird walking docilely by his side. Stopping at the fence Ace introduced the bird to Kurasame.

 

“This is Kurasame” he said pointing towards the teen. “He's my friend. He's looking for someone to help him out on missions and I'm hoping that you will do that and help to keep him safe for me.”

 

He then turned to Kurasame. “This is Chandraneel and he's also my friend. I would like it if you chose him and worked together.”

 

Nodding unsurely, Kurasame hesitantly offered his hand to the bird to inspect. Gazing at the hand offered to him, Chandraneel butted him with his beak in the chest.

 

“Well, looks like you got yourself a fine bird cadet.” The chocobo handler could not believe what he had just seen. “Also looks like you've got a chocobo whisperer for a friend here. Say kid you're not from around here are you?” Ace shook his head.

 

“No sir, my siblings and I are just visiting for today with Mother. But we will be back for more visits apparently.”

 

“Well if you ever want to come back down here to help out, you're more than welcome.” With a nod the handler left to file the paperwork for Kurasame regarding his new chocobo partner.

 

“Well I guess that means that we will see each other again some times” Kurasame stated as he stared down at the strange child before him.

 

“Yup, I'll make sure that if you're not around to come check on Chandraneel for you.”

 

“Thanks Ace, I'm sure he'd enjoy having you around too.” he reassured.

 

“Thanks Kurasame for letting me help, I was feeling a bit sad before, but I don't know why any more. I have to go meet Mother now, but I'll say hi next time I see you ok?”

 

With a quick wave and a pat for the chocobo, Ace ran towards the Great Portal and disappeared in a flash of red light.

 

Kurasame wondered if he ever would see the boy again, and hoped that he would. He just never realised just how big of an impact that the boy would one day have on his life.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

It would be another year before Kurasame saw Ace again, and unsurprisingly it was again at the Chocobo Stables. As the red flash faded from his vision, Kurasame saw that the boy was perched on the paddock fence, feeding rare greens to Chandraneel. How or where he had managed to find such rare greens was a mystery though as Sylkis Greens were not available for sale.

 

Upon noticing his owners arrival Chandraneel let out a happy 'wark' in greeting, alerting Ace to his presence. Turning around with a smile on his face, Ace greeted Kurasame nearly unseating himself from the fence rail. Hurrying over, Kurasame made it just in time to prevent the boy from taking a header into the dirt.

 

“Oopths! Thanths Kurazthame!” Ace lisped at him. It was then that Kurasame noticed that they boy had both front teeth missing, causing the lisp.

 

“Ha, no worries little guy,” Kurasame replied ruffling the boy's hair. “I see you've managed to lose two of your teeth recently.” Kurasame lent over to pet his chocobo who looked disgruntled at the loss of attention.

 

“Yeth, justh lasth week.” Ace proudly showed off the gap in his teeth, little pink tongue poking through. “I brought a picnic to thare with Chandraneel, but you can join us if you want to.”

 

Ace gestured toward the until now unnoticed picnic basket leaning up against the fence. Kurasame hummed thoughtfully.

 

“Well I did actually just come down here to check on Chand, we just came back from a pretty tough mission and I wanted to make sure he was recovering ok.”

 

“I know, he thold me,” Ace answered. “Pleath?” He put the cutest look that he could on his face, the one that even his mother was unable to resist for long.

 

“Ah kid, yeah ok you win. I'll eat here with you two. I did miss lunch to come down here after all, so I guess it all works out well. Just don't be surprised if one of my friends comes down here to look for me ok?”

 

Ace nodded vigorously showing his agreement, before hopping off the fence and grabbing the blanket that was resting on the top of the basket. Holding it up towards the chocobo so he wouldn't be startled, Ace shook it out and laid it down on the ground. Grabbing the basket and seating himself on a part of the blanket, Ace motioned for Kurasame to join him. With a little smile, Kurasame gently settled himself opposite Ace.

 

Peering into the basket Kurasame saw that there was a large variety of choices. He pulled out sandwiches, salad bowls, cake, biscuits, various finger foods, juice, sodas and lastly a bag filled with even more greens for the chocobo.

 

Detaching some cups, plates and cutlery from the lid of the basket, Ace handed one of everything to Kurasame and stood to feed more of the greens to Chandraneel.

 

“Ace, Chand can wait a bit for more greens while you eat your lunch you know?” Kurasame was surprised that the boy would forego his chance to eat to feed the bird.

 

“I know, buth he needs his food to be sthrong for you. I don't mind waiting.” Kurasame was amazed again that a child as young as Ace could be so selfless. That thought made him realise that he didn't actually know how old Ace was, though he had always assumed the boy was around 10 years younger than he was.

 

“Well ok if that's what you really want then kid.” Kurasame finally gave in, after all Ace seemed like he could be very stubborn about things he wanted to. Ace turned to glare at him.

 

“I'm noth a kid!” He pouted.

 

“If you don't mind me asking though, how old are you?” Kurasame was surprised at the vehemence put into that statement.

 

With a little surprised snort, Ace responded. “I'm eight now. How old are you, cos you look sorta buth not really old.” Ace laughed even harder at the offended look on Kurasame's face.

 

“Watch it kid” Kurasame pretended to growl at him, causing Ace to topple over with laughter. “I'm only seventeen. Hardly enough to look old.”

 

“Mmhmm” demurred Ace with a look of faux innocent on his face.

 

Jeez this kid was a cheeky little ass Kurasame thought to himself, completely amused. It was strange really, he had only met this boy once before but already he was starting to feel like a good friend.

 

“So why don't you like being called kid?” Kurasame asked curiously.

 

“Goth lots of thiblings, and I'm one of the youngetht. Don't like being reminded I'm so little all of the time.” Kurasame nodded in understanding. Although he didn't have siblings himself, he remembered how it felt when he was a new cadet in a class full of older students.

 

“Stho where wath your mithon to? Did you win?” Ace asked eagerly changing the subject, finally finished feeding the chocobo and starting to eat his own lunch.

 

“Ah sorry kid, can't really tell you the details.” Kurasame said with a slight shrug. “But I can tell you that yes, we won the battle else we wouldn't be here now would we?” This earned him a big smile from the boy in front of him.

 

“I suppose you wouldn't” Ace responded. “I'm glad you both made it home safe Kurazthme. Urgh I can't thay your name anymore, so I'm just going to call you Raz for now.” Ace said with a cute pout on his face.

 

Kurasame laughed, surprised at being given a nickname for the first time, and an unusual one at that.

 

“If you really want to, then I guess that's fine with me then.” Ace beamed at him as he continued to take dainty bites out of his meal. A flash of red light from the portal caused all three of the picnickers to turn to see who had arrived.

 

Miwa, one of Kurasame's friends and classmates, stood looking around the stables for him. Giving a slight sigh that his time with Ace was being interrupted, Kurasame waved his hand at the girl until she noticed and made her way over.

 

Spotting Kurasame's temperamental blue chocobo gently grooming the hair of a small blonde child made her pause. That demon bird would barely tolerate any of their classmates getting close, and here a child that looked all of 6 was practically cuddling up to it.

 

“Kurasame, you didn't tell me you were going to have a picnic with such an adorable little boy down here! I would have got all the rest of the gang to come down.”

 

Casting another worried look towards the bird and boy, she noticed that the bird had moved as well as it could behind the fence to shield the boy from her.

 

“You sure it's a good idea to let your demon bird near the kid?” The chocobo 'warked' at her in warning as a slight growl could be heard from Ace.

 

“M'not a kid” Ace mumbled grumpily, petting the chocobo and trying to push the large bird aside so that he could reach his food again.

 

Miwa almost fell over in shock as the demon bird softly 'kweh'd' at the boy in question before moving aside when he told him that everything was ok. She would be lucky not to have her hand snapped at for just getting too close! And here this kid was pushing the bird aside and having his hair gently preened. Kurasame laughed long and loud when he saw the look on Miwa's face.

 

“Miwa this is Ace. He's the boy I told you I met last year when I went to pick out a chocobo. Ace convinced Chand to be my partner, and if you ask me, that bird likes him a lot more than he likes me.” Smirking at her disbelieving look, Kurasame continued. “Ace this is Miwa, she's a classmate and friend of mine.” Ace waved a bashful hello from under the chocobo's beak.

 

“As for the picnic I didn't know myself. I just came down here to check on Chand like I said I was, and Ace was down here and asked if I would join them for lunch. There was no way I could possibly say no to an offer like that.”

 

“Uh huh” Miwa said slowly.

 

“Do you want to join us?” Ace asked shyly. “There's heapths here if you want thoo.”

 

Internally Miwa screamed at his cuteness. Casting a quick look to Kurasame trying to convey just how adorable she thought Ace was in just one look, Kurasame nodded in agreement.

 

“Well ok if you're sure you don't mind then.” Miwa went and sat the furthest away that she could from Chandraneel, which meant that she ended up right next to Kurasame instead. Ace handed Miwa another plate and cup, and she started to pile food on it. The bird still glared at her from the other side of the fence and it made her a little nervous to be so vulnerable sitting so close.

 

“Sthop that Chand!” Ace scolded the bird. Chandraneel seemed to droop in chastisement. “Miwa is Kurasame's friend and team-mate! You need to be friendly to her too you know, she helps protect Raz thoo.” With a light tap on the chocobo's beak, Ace turned back to the pair sitting across from him.

 

After having watched how the chocobo listened to the boy, the threatening aura he was putting out diminishing after being told off, Miwa turned to Kurasame with a look of dumbfounded wonder.

 

“What the hell Kurasame? And Raz? And no seriously, what the hell?”

 

“He decided to call me Raz as with his teeth missing he can't say Kurasame at the moment, and I have no idea. It's just how he is” Kurasame said with a shrug.

 

“Oh my god that is adorable!” Squeeled Miwa. “I'm going to have to tell the others about this, Raz.” Smirking at Kurasame, she dropped the nickname on him without warning.

 

“Oh gods no. You are not allowed to tell anyone about this or call me that. Ever.”

 

“And why not?” Oh hell, Miwa had her frowny face on. Kurasame hastened to explain before Miwa could eviscerate him.

 

“Because I don't want the others to scare Ace off, he's too sweet a boy to have to deal with them. And only Ace can call me that because he gave me the name. So if you want to use it, ask him.”

 

Silently, Kurasame prayed that Ace would refuse to let Miwa use the nickname, but he had a sinking feeling that the sweet boy would gladly let her and others call him that too.

 

Turning towards the boy, Kurasame noticed that he had been quietly observing their whispered conversation with a thoughtful look on his face. Watching their back and forth conversation Ace came to a conclusion and wanted to ask to find out if he was right or not. Before he could open his mouth to ask though, Miwa cut in to ask if she and their other friends could also call Kurasame 'Raz'.

 

“Of courth you can.” Ace replied with a smile. “You don't have tho arthk me permithon to use it. Ith up to Kurazthame.”

 

Squealing with glee, Miwa stuck her tongue out towards Kurasame. In retaliation, Kurasame tried to poke it with her fork causing Ace to laugh at their antics.

 

“Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend?” Ace asked innocently.

 

Miwa and Kurasame were struck silent at the question.Turning to look at each other, Miwa made a gagging noise and Kurasame had a disgusted look on his face.

 

“Ew good gods no!” Miwa exclaimed. “Who would want to date this guy's ugly mug?”

 

With that she shoved her hand over Kurasame's face and pushed him away from her.

 

“Oi!” Kurasame protested. “I'm a catch and you know it!”

 

If it were possible, Miwa's face looked even more disgusted. “Dude, I wouldn't even date you if you were the last man on Orience.” Turning to Ace she explained.

 

“Look, it's not like he's a total troll or anything, but the thing is I think of him more like a friend and brother than someone I'd ever think of dating.”

 

Kurasame nodded in agreement.

 

“Miwa is someone that I think of as a sister too. I love her, but more in a sibling kind of way. Like I'm sure you do with your siblings.”

 

Pulling a face Ace responded with “Nah, my siblings are all annoying and they get in my way all the time. I like to go out so that I can get away from them.”

 

Both Kurasame and Miwa had to cover up their laughs behind their hands at Ace's words.

 

“I see” said Kurasame. “Well who knows, maybe as you get older your feelings will change.”

 

“I doubt it,” Ace stated with finality indicating that the subject was now closed and would not be discussed further.

 

Standing up and brushing off her skirt, Miwa thanked Ace for the picnic but told him that unfortunately they needed to get back to class now. Saddened that his time with the two was over, Ace nodded in understanding. Helping the boy to pack up the remains of the food, Kurasame noticed how sad Ace looked.

 

“Hey Ace, we'll see each other again alright? I'm down here a lot to check up on Chand when I'm not on missions, or you could ask one of the moogles in the Great Hall where I am if you wanted to.”

 

“Yeah, ok.....I guess, I just.” Here Ace hesitated as though he were embarrassed. “Are we.......are we friends?” He finally rushed out. Kurasame was taken aback. He didn't realise that this boy was so lonely and hesitant that he didn't realise that they were becoming friends already.

 

“Yes Ace. We are definitely friends, and don't let anyone tell you other wise ok?” The big happy smile that Ace gave him was definitely worth it.

 

“Kurasame!” Miwa was calling to him from next to the portal. “Come on we'll be late! Bye Ace, nice to meet you!”

 

“Yeah coming Miwa, just give me a sec ok?” Kurasame yelled back. Finding a slip of paper and a pen in his pocket, Kurasame quickly wrote down his communication number and postal address that he could send hand written letters to.

 

“Here,” he handed the paper to Ace, who looked at the writing questioningly. “That's where you can write to me if you want to. My number if you have access to a phone or comms, or a mailing address if you don't.”

 

“I'll write to you lots!” Ace exclaimed clutching the paper to his chest.

 

“Yeah kid I'm sure you will. Just remember that I won't always be able to write back straight away as I might be on missions yeah? It will be great to come back to some letters from you.” Kurasame ruffled Ace's already mussed hair as he jogged over to the portal.

 

Lifting a hand in farewell, Kurasame caught a final glimpse of Ace standing by the picnic blanket one hand waving as the other clutched the paper to himself, big blue chocobo resting it's beak upon the small blonde head; before the portal activated and his vision was filled with the red flash of light.

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

Dear Kurasame,

I hope that you don't mind me writing a letter so soon, but I was so excited to

have someone to write to that I just couldn't wait.

 

I wanted to thank both you and Miwa for having lunch with me the other day,

sometimes it gets a bit lonely here even though I have all of my brothers and

sisters around all the time.

 

I wish that I could spend more time with Chandraneel too, he's such a good

bird, and he likes to tell me about your adventures out of Rubrum. But don't

worry I won't tell anyone what he tells me ok? So don't worry about me knowing

things that I shouldn't.

 

I hope that we can catch up again soon, and good luck on any missions you go

on until I see you next!

 

Best of luck,

Ace

 

 

 

To Ace,                                                                                                                   

 

Sorry that I haven't been able to write back to you recently. I've been going out on 

missions a lot at the moment, but I'm sure you've been talking to my chocobo       

about them anyway.                                                                                                

 

I hope that all is going well with you and your siblings also, and I'm excited for      

you to hear that you have started training, though the use of cards is a little          

unusual. Or at least I have never heard of them being used before, I am sure that   

you will do well using your weapon of choice.                                                         

 

I need to head off now, but I will be sure to write to you again when I get time.      

 

Your friend,                                                                                                            

Kurasame 'Raz'                                                                                                       

 

 

 

To Raz,

 

I am so so sorry to hear about the loss of your classmates. I understand that

the crystal has removed the memory of these people, but it does not erase

the sense of something missing, not completely. It makes it harder to deal

with the loss when there is such proof that these people existed, but we can

no longer remember what they meant to us.

 

Were they our friends? Did we have fun and play together? Did we have

plans for the future?

 

I wish that I could be there right now, even though I know that there is

nothing that I could do to help.

 

You are always in my thoughts and I pray to the Gods that they will keep

you safe so that I might never have to forget you.

 

Please be safe,

Ace

 

 

 

To Raz,

 

Congratulations are in order I hear! Mother told me that you and your

friends have been named the Four Champions of Rubrum. I feel so

proud that I can brag to the others that I have met you and that we are

friends.

 

The girls think that you are very handsome, bleh girls, and the boys

are all jealous that I know someone so cool. If you could, could you

also please send my congratulations to Miwa as well. I enjoyed meeting

her that one time at the chocobo stables and sharing lunch with her.

 

I hope that I one day get to meet the other two Champions as well, as

I am sure that they are your friends also and I would love to meet any

friends of yours.

 

Write to you again soon!

Ace

 

 

 

To Ace,                                                                                                                  

 

Thank you for your kind words. It was a bit of a surprise to have people start        

calling us that, as none of us particularly took Miwa seriously when she shouted   

it out in the middle of battle.                                                                                 

 

I have passed your congratulations on to Miwa as well, and she says 'Thank you'.  

She said that she was pleased that such and 'adorable' child would remember       

her. Her words not mine, mind you.                                                                       

 

Recently while on a mission, (sorry I can't tell you more) I met a girl named Aoi.    

She is very pretty and kind, and I have asked her to be my girlfriend. I hope that   

it all works out with her, so wish me luck little guy!                                               

 

I am sure that you are loving being able to brag to your siblings, and I would       

gladly come to meet them if I ever get the chance to.                                            

 

Likewise, the other two 'Champions' Guren and Kotetsu wouldn't mind meeting    

you too. They want to meet the 'Demon Chocobo Whisperer' as they like to call    

you. They don't believe that Chand likes you as much as Miwa and I try to tell      

them he does.                                                                                                       

 

Let me know when you will be here next and I will try to arrange a time to meet   

up with you.                                                                                                          

 

Hoping you are keeping well,                                                                                

Raz                                                                                                                       

 

 

 

To Raz,

 

Oh wow I just found out today that you have been given an awesome

new title. 'Ice Reaper' Wow that sounds so cool and badass. Er please

don't tell Mother that I wrote that, she probably won't be happy with

me if she knew.

 

The others are even more jealous now that I am friends with you. I

also want to thank you for taking the time to come say hello to us

when we visited Akademeia last as well. I thought Sice was going to

pass out when you shook her hand, haha. She won't stop talking

about you now though. She was pretty devastated to learn that you

already have a girlfriend though.

 

Thank you so much too for arranging for me to meet your other

friends. I had such a great time getting to meet them. I'm still

not really sure why everyone keeps calling your sweet chocobo

a demon bird though. You will have to explain it to me one day.

 

Hope to see you again soon!

Ace

 

 

 

To Raz,

 

Please, please write to me! Please tell me that the rumours that the four

Champions are dead are all false! Please I beg of you just write and let

me know that you are safe! I can't remember the others, but I can still

remember you, so please Raz just let me know that you are okay.

 

I know that things had been difficult with your house arrest and other

things that you couldn't tell me, but I am so worried about you right

now and no one can or will tell me anything.

 

Please Raz, please please be okay. I'll wait and wait until I hear from

you again, so please.

 

Praying for your safety and well-being,

Ace

 

 

 

To Ace,                                                                                                                  

 

I am sorry that I worried you so much. Please forgive me. Unfortunately I was       

injured and it is only recently that I have woken.                                                   

 

     It is true yes, that the other Champions are dead, I am the only one remaining.    

And I shall be retiring the title of 'Ice Reaper' as I can not bear to be called as      

such anymore.                                                                                                      

 

I have taken a position as a Commander and I shall now teach others so that my  

shortcomings will not become theirs.                                                                    

 

As I have failed yet again to keep those that I care for safe I have decided that I   

can no longer put you at risk of one day becoming yet another person that I        

lose due to my failures.                                                                                        

 

You have my deepest sincerest apologises Ace, but this will be the last letter that

I write to you. I will no longer write back or answer my communication device      

for you, and I hope that you will one day forgive me and move on as in the end   

I could not be the friend that you deserved.                                                          

 

I'm so sorry, it's ok if you want to hate me. But I'm doing this for you, and I         

hope that one day you will understand.                                                                

 

For the last time, goodbye from your friend                                                         

Kurasame                                                                                                             

 

 

 

Kurasame,

 

Please don't stop talking to me! Please don't forget me or throw our

friendship away! I know that you feel like you failed, but you didn't

and even if you did, you could never fail me and there is no way that

you could ever lose me because I refuse to be lost and I won't let you

down and I won't let you go!

 

Please don't ignore me. You are my only friend and I need you Raz!

I need you. Please.

 

Awaiting your reply,

Ace

 

 

 

Raz, Kurasame,

  
Please. Please it has been months and you still won't answer my letters

or comms messages.

 

You can't mean to really cast me aside can you? Things have not been

the same without you to talk to. Without being able to meet up with

you and talk about the things that I can't talk to my brothers and

sisters about.

 

You were always there for me now, and now you're not and I don't know

what to do.

 

Please, please come back to me, I beg of you.

 

Ace

 

 

 

To the persistent child writing to the stubborn idiot Kurasame,                           

 

Look kid, I have no idea who you are really, but I do know that Kurasame used   

to have some kid that he met with that he wrote to all the time.                          

 

As the person who is around him the most at this point, I can tell you that your 

letters are getting to Kurasame. He even reads them. I don't know what you       

are writing kid, but whatever it is, it makes the real him emerge. The Kurasame 

that shows emotion and not the stone cold facade that he shows the world        

right now.                                                                                                           

 

But right now the idiot is stubbornly holding onto the belief that he will one      

day get you killed if you are associated with him. I know he's an idiot, you         

know he's an idiot, we all know that he's being an idiot. But that's not going      

to change his mind.                                                                                            

 

Right now he is so far lost in his own head that he can't see just how stupid he  

is being. So you can keep writing to him if you can handle him never                 

responding, but with the knowledge that he is at least reading them, or you      

could try stopping and give him some space to clear his head.                           

 

I cannot and will not guarantee that you will ever be friends like you were          

before, but I wouldn't give up hope just yet either. If it was meant to be, then    

fate will find a way to make it so.                                                                        

 

I hope that you give my words some thought kid,                                               

Kurasame's friend Kazuza                                                                                   

(Don't be bummed kid, I'm only here still because he can't get rid of me. I'm      

like a bad rash that just won't go away.)                                                              

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue taken from in game.

 

 

For the next five years, Kurasame continued to not respond to the letters that Ace would occasionally send to him. After the first year he didn't even want to read them, the pain of turning away from a friend too great, but Kazuza would always seem to find them and proceed to read them aloud to Kurasame whether he wanted to hear them or not.

 

As such, he was not taken by too much surprise when he found out that the siblings were headed to Akademeia to become cadets, though he was both surprised and dismayed to find out that he was to become their Commanding Officer. If he thought about it long enough, Kurasame suspected that their mother, Arecia might have had something to do with that decision.

 

 

“Class Zero. Respond.” Kurasame prayed that the warrior who was carrying to communication device had managed to pass it to the assigned cadet.

 

A young, vaguely familiar voice responded to him. “Class Zero here.”

 

“Good, the COMM arrived safely,” Kurasame breathed a quiet sigh of relief. “Praise be unto the warrior who lost his name.”

 

“I am Kurasame. I'll be your CO.”

 

“Kura....same? Raz?”

 

Kurasame froze. No one had called him that since he had stopped speaking to Ace. Was.....was he talking to Ace now over the COMM? Not knowing how to respond to that, Kurasame decided to pretend as though the other had not spoken.

 

“Your objective: to find the Empire's crystal jammer, then neutralise it to restore the crystal.”

 

“Understood.”

 

“May the crystal guide you.”

 

Cutting off the microphone to the COMM, Kurasame sagged in place. He didn't know if he was strong enough to listen to who could possibly be Ace, fight and potentially die. He did not know what he would do if he were to hear his childhood friend die on the other end of the device and not be there to protect him.

 

Kurasame stood in Central Command with the other commanders, hands clenched in white knuckled grips as he waited to hear the outcome of Class Zero's mission. When word came in that they had been successful, Kurasame nearly sagged in relief. Moments later he nearly had a heart attack when he heard what they got up to next. For Shiva's sake they took on a l'Cie with just three of them; and WON! By the crystal, these cadets were going to send him to an early grave if they always acted like this.

 

 

****

 

 

After their spectacular introduction to Akademia during the last battle for the Vermilion Peristylium, the siblings that made up Class Zero were told to gather in what would later become their classroom. While they waited for someone to come and inform them of what was to happen next, Ace become lost in thoughts regarding his suspicions trying to identify the identity of the person who introduced himself as their CO.

 

He had been so sure that the man was his old friend Kurasame. He had mentioned in one of his last letters that he was going to become a Commanding Officer, and really how many people could there be with the same name? Lost in his musings, Ace did not hear the new person enter the class, nor their introduction.

 

He only snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Nine go flying into the wall and bellowing his displeasure. Jumping up to defend his siblings, Ace readied his cards as Cater was frozen in place by a well placed blizzard BOM. Preparing to launch his weapon, Ace was stopped cold as he felt the cold kiss of steel resting against his neck.

 

Eyes trailing down the icy cold blade of steel, following it up the steady arm holding it against him, Ace's eyes finally fell upon familiar blue eyes and indigo hair. In shock, Ace let go of his weapon, the card disintegrating back into crystal shards. The once beloved face of his friend was now covered from nose to chin by a mask. The familiar blue eyes sent shivers down his spine; instead of the kindness and warmth that he was used to seeing, they now held nothing but a cold blankness that broke his heart all over again.

 

Was this really his old friend? What had happened in the last four years that had changed Kurasame from the warm, friendly boy that he had known, into this cold man before him. Ace felt as though he should have done more when Kurasame had severed all contact between them, should have tried to visit him; send him more letters. And in that moment, Ace felt like a total failure as a friend.

 

“Raz?” Ace questioned, so quietly that none of the others could hear him.

 

Inside his mind, Kurasame screamed. NO! This could not be happening to him. The person before him had soft blond hair and bright blue eyes, he wasn't very tall, but his build was leanly muscled. This beautiful young man could not be the same young boy whom he had befriended. He could not be the same child who he had abandoned because of his own failings and guilt. He had hoped to never have to confront his past sins again, but here they were standing in front of him looking at him with pleading eyes.

 

Kurasame forced himself to look blankly back at Ace. Dismissing his blade, Kurasame stepped back, and once again ignored his question. Turning away from the distraught boy, he proceeded to continue to address the rest of Class Zero.

 

Learning that they were now going to be living at Akademeia and with Kurasame as their CO, Ace promised himself that he would finally get some answers from his old friend.

 

For the next several weeks Ace tried his hardest to track down Kurasame any time that they weren't in class and surrounded by his siblings. However every time he managed to track him down, Kurasame would disappear before he could approach him or he would be with the scientist Kazuza. Ace remembered receiving a letter from the other man once, just after Kurasame had stopped writing to him. Perhaps Ace should try approaching the other man to help with catching Kurasame, but only as a last resort; he had heard some strange rumours about the eccentric man.

 

It was over a month later that Ace finally managed to corner Kurasame on the Terrace. The man was standing out on the deserted balcony, staring out over Akademeia when Ace approached from the transport portal. Startled to see the other man there, it took Ace a moment to gather himself before he made his way over slowly.

 

“Kurasame?” He questioned hesitantly. “Can we talk please?”

 

The man in question stiffened visibly at the sound of his voice coming from behind him. Cursing himself quietly for letting down his guard, Kurasame turned toward Ace.

 

“Cadet Ace.” His voice was emotionless. “I would ask that you remember that such informalities are not appropriate. I am your commanding officer and as such you should refer to me as Commander.”

 

The look of pure hurt that flashed across Ace's face and the way those bright blue eyes dulled with pained acceptance made Kurasame want to fall upon his sword. He had not wanted to hurt the boy, but he could not encourage him to continue with his foolish mission of repairing their friendship. The reasons for ending it were still present, and with the added burden of now being in a position of authority over Ace, Kurasame could not possibly change his mind now. Not that he didn't wish every day that things could have been different.

 

“I....I see. I apologise Commander, and I will not bother you again.” Dropping a salute towards the other man, Ace turned and quietly walked away from his one-time friend.

  
There were only so many times that a person could be rejected before they lost hope, and Ace had long since lost his. This had simply been the last straw, and he could no longer handle being pushed aside and ignored as though their years of friendship had never happened.

 

Kurasame watched as Ace left, his chest aching at once again turning the other boy away. Kazuza was going to kick his ass. He didn't know why his friend had taken such a liking to the boy, but ever since he had cut communication with Ace, Kazuza had been trying to get him to 'pull his head out of his ass' as he put it and talk to him again. From reading out Ace's increasingly desolate letters, to reminiscing any memories he had of stories that he had been told regarding Ace. Nothing that he had done though had changed Kurasame's mind. He knew what was best for his young friend, and if cutting all ties with him was what was needed, then so be it.

 

Kurasame was correct. Kazuza did kick his ass once he told the man what had happened, though not in the traditional sense. Instead he knocked him out cold with one of his new experimental drugs and did gods knows what to him while he was out of it. He could only be thankful that at least he had written the words 'I am Kurasame and I am a giant idiot' underneath his mask so that he could hide it. It would not do for any of the cadets or other commanders to see that.

 

Kurasame felt that he should perhaps apologise to Ace for his behaviour, and try to explain to him why it was necessary for them to no longer be friends. Trying to track the other down though, he began to feel bad for avoiding Ace before as it was terribly frustrating to not be able to catch a minute alone with the boy. In class, Ace worked quietly never speaking unless called upon, and then it was in a quiet subdued voice, and outside of class the boy seemed to simply disappear.

 

In the last few weeks he had not caught sight of the teen outside of class once. He was tempted to ask one of his siblings as to his location, but the judgemental stares that he was receiving from a few of them made him hesitant. Deciding finally to ask Deuce, who seemed to be the kindest of the lot and less likely to skewer him, he approached her in their free time.

 

“Cadet Deuce, might I take a moment of your time?” Kurasame was glad that his voice came out a lot steadier than he thought that it would.

 

Surprised and wary Deuce answered. “Of course Commander. How may I help you?”

 

“Uh.....I was ah, that is.....I was hoping that you might know the current location of Cadet Ace?" Kurasame could have kicked himself, so much for his confidence.

 

“Why?” All pretences of civility fell from Deuce's countenance at Kurasame's request. “Why do you want to know? Haven't you hurt him enough?”

 

Taken aback, Kurasame took an unconscious step backwards at the forceful words.

 

“I wished to apologise for my recent behaviour, and to explain.”

 

Deuce eyed him suspiciously. Clearly the girl was very protective of her brother and he had underestimated her.

 

“I will tell you where he is,” Kurasame sagged in relief only to tense up as she continued. “On one condition. You will answer some questions that I have truthfully.” Kurasame agreed reluctantly.

 

“You are the same Kurasame that was friends with Ace during his childhood?” That hadn't really been a question, more of a statement, but he nodded anyway. Deuce stared at him with hard eyes.

 

“Why did you cut him out of your life? Why did you stop being friends with little more than that self serving excuse when he begged, _begged_ you not to leave him? Why do you continue to treat him so harshly even now, but feel that you have the right to track him down simply to make yourself feel better?”

 

Kurasame was left speechless. He honestly didn't know how to answer those questions himself, let alone explain his motives to someone else, but he had to try.

 

“I thought that I was protecting him. I thought, all of my other friends had died because of my failure to protect them and I could not bear it if the same were to happen to Ace. I knew that he would make other friends and that he would soon forget about me, I'm not really worth being remembered. And now I treat him harshly because I cannot let down my guard. If I were to do so then I know that I would let him in again, that I would never let him go and I need him to know that none of this is his fault and that the blame is all mine.”

 

The eyes observing him softened slightly as his explanation went on. Although she could understand Kurasame's reasoning, he had still hurt her brother and she would not be quick to forgive him for that.

 

“He normally takes a nap out on the benches in the garden area outside of our classroom, no matter how many times we tell him that he will catch a cold doing so. You can probably find him there now, unless someone gave him a task earlier that I don't know of.” Deuce turned to walk away from her commander.

 

“Oh and Kurasame,” Kurasame looked up from where his gaze had fallen to the ground. “Ace never made another friend after you abandoned him. He couldn't bear the thought of another person leaving him behind the way you did.”

 

And with that she walked away leaving Kurasame to deal with the fallout of her statement alone. Gods Ace had never tried making friends because of him. He remembered Ace writing how even though he had all of his siblings he had sometimes still felt so alone. He had inadvertently caused Ace to be so wary of letting someone else in that he could not open himself up to another person.

 

If he hadn't already felt terrible before, he definitely did now. Before he had always reassured himself that although he had never mentioned it in his letters, that Ace had made more friends to fill to gap that he had left. With those sobering thoughts in mind, Kurasame decided to head out to the gardens and find Ace as quickly as possible.

 

 

****

 

 

Meanwhile, Ace had woken from his nap out on the garden bench, strange dreams fading from his conscious the clearer his mind became. Stretching to work out any kinks in his limbs, Ace shrugged sheepishly as he met Nine's amused look.

 

“Napping in the garden again, yo?” Nine smirked at him. “You know the others will scold you if they catch you doin' that hey?”

 

“Yeah I know, I just can't help it.” Mumbled Ace tiredly. “Hmm well, I'm off now. I got a letter earlier from Kazuza to come see him in the Armoury.”

 

“Kazuza?” Nine asked with a confused look. “He another commander?”

 

“Ah no, Kazuza is like a Medic-y science type guy here? I think, actually I'm not really sure what he does, but he's a superior officer and I need to obey a summons from him.” Ace shrugged helplessly. “I'll catch you later ok?”

 

With a little wave over his shoulder, Ace disappeared back into Class Zero's classroom. Walking towards the Great Portal in the entrance hall, Ace's shoulders slumped. Keeping up a happy facade in front of all of his siblings was really weighing him down. He knew that Deuce was on to him and did not believe a second of his act, but she also would not push him to talk or change unless she felt that he was doing himself harm.

 

About to open the doors to the hall, Ace sprung back as the doors started to open, pushed from the other side. For reasons that he couldn't determine, Ace hid behind the door as it swung open. When he saw that it was Kurasame that had walked through, he felt glad that he had hidden. If there was one person that he didn't want to see right now, it was their commander.

 

Weeks of ignoring the man and avoiding him had taken their toll on the normally happy boy and he could feel the snapping jaws of rejection and depression biting at his heels whenever he was turned away again. Ace knew that things could not continue on as they were, but he didn't have the strength to try to fix things again.

 

Waiting until Kurasame had passed him by, Ace quickly slipped through the doors before they could close again. And not a moment too soon; as though sensing that someone was there, Kurasame had turned, but there had been no one there when he looked.

 

Arriving in the Armoury, Ace quickly spotted the man he was looking for. Hair swept to the side, slightly covering some of his face, glasses and most notably a white lab coat.

 

“Ah Cadet Ace I take it? I'm Kazuza.” Ace shook the man's offered hand, cringing inwardly as he held on just a touch too long.

 

“Yes, you asked me to meet you?” Ace was hesitant and had no idea what someone from this department would want from him, especially as he had asked for him by name.

 

“Yes, yes. I need you to follow me to my labs for a check up. Nothing out of the ordinary I assure you.”

 

Gesturing towards the portal in the corner, Kazuza put a gentle guiding hand upon Ace's back. Leading the confused and slightly alarmed boy towards his lab in the Crystarium, neither man saw Kurasame hurrying from Class Zero towards the Great Portal. Pulling out the correct book, the bookcase slid away and revealed the entrance to Kazuza's lab.

 

“Just step in here please, nothing to worry about.” The words did nothing to reassure the now trembling Ace.

 

“Ah ok.” Ace stepped into the lab and immediately his face was covered by a mask, noxious gas pouring from the nozzle. Trying, with no success, to claw the mask off, Ace soon succumbed to unconsciousness and fell to the floor.

 

Kazuza chuckled as he turned the gas off and picked the young man up, placing him upon the examination table that he had set up.

 

“Now.....let's see what makes you so special hmm?” He rubbed his hands together gleefully.

 

 

****

 

Ace was nowhere to been seen by the time Kurasame reached the garden. Damn, he had missed him again, but now he had no idea where the boy had disappeared to and he was back to square one.

 

Watching his commanding officer pace and swear up a storm was endlessly amusing to Nine, and he couldn't contain his snort of laughter at the man causing icy blues eyes to flash in his direction.

 

' _Whoa!'_ Thought Nine. Someone had seriously done a number on their commander for him to look like that. The man looked shaken, but angry and frustrated. He radiated stress and longing and there was a look in his eye that Nine could not describe.

 

“Whoa, you right there bro?” Nine drawled, hoping to avoid getting his ass kicked again.

 

“No, I am not alright, _bro._ ” Answered the irate man. “You wouldn't happen to know the current location of Cadet Ace would you?”

 

“Ace? Whadya want to speak to him for? Thought you two were avoiding each other?” Nine's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hair.

 

“That is none of your concern Cadet. But if you could tell me his location it would be appreciated. I have need to speak to him at this time.”

 

“Uhuh.” Boy someone really needed to pull the stick out of this guys ass. “Well you just missed him actually. He was going to the Armoury to meet some dude name Kazuzu? Kazero?....”

 

“Kazuza?” barked out Kurasame.

 

“Oh yeah that's the guy.” The sudden swear that burst from his commander shocked Nine into silence for the first time ever.

 

“Shit, thanks.” And with that, the man was gone. The doors leading to the classroom were long closed before Nine had managed to gather his wits about him again.

 

“Ooookaaaay theeeen. I'm just going to pretend like this never happened. Probably safer that way.”

 

Practically flying through the class and down the hallway towards the hall, Kurasame missed the two figures that had exited the portal and entered the Crystarium. Jumping into the portal Kurasame was deposited into the Armoury where he quickly scanned the room looking for his friend and missing Cadet.

 

“Oi Kurasame!” The Quartermaster yelled out to him. Turning towards the man, Kurasame lifted a questioning brow.

 

“If you're looking for that fruitcake you call friend, you just missed him. Took of a minute ago with a cadet from your class. Might want to go rescue him while he's still in one piece.”

 

Nodding in thanks, Kurasame quickly reactivated the portal and hurried towards Kazuza's hidden lab. A few steps into the Crystarium, Kurasame heard the thump of a body hitting the ground and rushed towards the secret entrance. Shoving the door open, Kurasame saw Kazuza gleefully rubbing his hands together as Ace was lying unconscious on the examination table.

 

Looking up to see who had barged into his lab uninvited, Kazuza paled considerably when he saw who it was.

 

“Er Kurasame, my friend...” Kazuza stopped talking when he heard the feral sounding growl coming from Kurasame. All he could think in that moment was ' _I am so freaking dead!'_.

 

Kurasame stalked forwards and not so gently pushed Kazuza out of his way. He then bent down and as carefully as he could, lifted Ace into a bridal carry, tucking his face into his neck. Turning slowly and heading towards the door, Kurasame paused before leaving.

 

“My students are off-limits to you Kazuza. And especially this one. If I hear that you have touched a single one of them, our friendship will not be enough to save you from tasting the steel of my blade.” Threat delivered, Kurasame left.

 

Unsure where the cadet resided, Kurasame decided that the safest place for him to rest and recover from the drugs he had inhaled would be in his private quarters. Ignoring all the strange looks and envious glances directed towards Ace, he took the portal in the main hall to his rooms. Once there, he gently laid Ace upon his bed, tucking him under the covers after he had removed the other's shoes and jacket.

 

Taking a proper look at the boy for the first time in months, Kurasame was dismayed to see dark circles under his eyes and the downward tilt to his once smiling mouth. Kurasame noticed also that Ace appeared to have lost weight too, his uniform fitting loosely on his small frame. Studying the boy even more closely, Kurasame could not help but notice that the small child that he had befriended had become a very handsome young man over the years. If he remembered correctly, and he did, Ace would be 16 now to his own 25.

 

Pushing a stray lock of blond hair that had fallen over Ace's eyes away, Kurasame was startled to see hazy blue eyes looking back at him. He had thought for sure, that it would take longer for the boy to wake.

 

“Raz?” Ace's voice came out airy and confused, sleep still tugging at him trying to pull him back under. “This a dream?”

 

Kurasame opened his mouth to deny that this was a dream, when Ace interrupted him.

 

“Yeah, 'course it's a dream. Raz don't talk to me anymore. Not friends. Raz an' me. Not 'nymore. Failed. Not worth havin' friens.....Sorry, 'm sorry.”

 

Gods, Ace's half insensible ramblings were breaking Kurasame's heart. What had he done in his selfish need to protect himself? He had destroyed the one that he had professed to want to protect. Sitting upon the edge of the bed, Kurasame laid his head in his hands and wept for all his failures.

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

It was hours later that Ace woke up again. By this time Kurasame had finally managed to pull himself together again, though his eyes still bore traces of redness from the tears that he had cried. For the last hour, he had been sitting and going over in his mind all of the things that he needed to say to Ace. All of the reasons why, he had done what he had done. And most importantly, he made sure he knew all of the things that he needed to apologise for.

 

Hearing stirring coming from the bed, Kurasame hurried over to the boy to try to reassure him as his mind cleared of the fog left behind.

 

“Hmm...” Blue eyes cracked open, staring confusedly into Kurasame's own icy blues. “Ra...Commander?”

 

Pain stabbed into Kurasame's heart as Ace stopped himself from using his old nickname. He had no one to blame but himself, but he hoped that Ace would start using it again after he was finished talking to him today.

 

“At ease Ace.” Another stab, as Ace seemed startled at being referred to by name without 'cadet' proceeding it. “You are currently in my private rooms recovering from a meeting with Kazuza.”

 

Slight understanding dawned on Ace's face as he explained. “Your rooms sir? Would not mine have been better?”

 

“Ah, well I don't actually know where you sleep so I though that this was a better option for you.”

 

Ace nodded his acceptance, even though he thought that the other man could have just asked any of his classmates for his room coordinates. What happened next, was one of the longest most awkward silences either had ever experienced before.

 

“Umm.....if that was all Commander? Then I should return to my siblings, I am sure that they are wondering where I am by now.” Ace sat up and pulled the covers off of himself, preparing to leave.

 

“I sent word earlier to inform the others of your whereabouts. And if you could spare the time I wish to speak with you on private matters while I have you here.”

 

Ace stiffened on the bed as he avoided eye contact with the other man. “I don't believe that there is anything left to say that has not already been said Commander.” He returned stiffly.

 

“Please call me Raz again Ace, or Kurasame if you can't bring yourself to think of me so fondly now.”

 

Startled by the soft request, Ace's eyes flew towards the other and saw the sincerity there.

 

“But, you told me not to call you that anymore. That I was to call you Commander and nothing else as your subordinate.”

 

“I know, and I was a stupid ass for saying that. In fact I've been a stupid ass to you for the last 4 years. I....I want you to know why I cut off our friendship all those years ago, and I want you to know that I have realised what an absolute idiot I was for doing so.”

 

Kurasame took a deep breath before he started, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Ace's reaction.

 

“I was always considered a bit of a failure, I wanted to prove that I was the best and that I could protect everyone around me. I was so damn cocky, thinking that I was better than everyone, and then I lost my whole class and life came knocking at my door with an enormous reality check designed to knock me off my self built pedestal.”

 

Kurasame let out a jagged breath, trying to remember the names, faces, _anything_ of the people that he knew that he had lost. But as usual, there was nothing left there for him to remember.

 

“When I was a champion, the fabled 'Ice Reaper', people looked up to me to protect them and keep them safe. I felt that if I could just keep my friends safe, it would all be worth it. But then we were betrayed and they all died again. Yet again I was too weak to do anything to save them. You were only young then, you still are really, but I didn't want to drag you into this world where I could be put in a situation where I failed to protect you and you died because of it.”

 

“I thought that I was doing the right thing for you, keeping you away from me meant that I couldn't fail you too. But in the end it turns out that I did it to protect myself, because I just can't handle the though of losing you too. But now that you are a cadet here at Akademeia and in Class Zero no less, you are going to be going on increasingly dangerous missions and I'm not going to be able to do a thing. And I realised that I can't live with you thinking that I hate you. If you are going to fight, and I pray to the crystal that you don't, if you are going to die out on the field then I want you to know how I truly feel.”

 

“I, Kurasame, I.....I don't know what to say.” Stammered Ace.

 

For years he had held out hope that his friend would return to him. Slowly he had began to wonder if he had done something wrong, his young mind twisting things up so badly that it made him thing that perhaps he had driven the other away with his childishness or neediness. His hope at rekindling their friendship when they were reunited as CO and Cadet had also died a swift and painful death.

 

Now here Kurasame was saying that all of that had been his fault. That he had been trying to protect both Ace and himself from the potential fallout of tragedy that might never have occurred. And underneath the confusion, simmered a rage so deep that Ace was a little frightened of the feeling.

 

“Do not _ever_ do that again.” Kurasame was taken aback at the simmering heat behind the forceful words Ace spoke.

 

“I have spent  _years_ feeling not good enough for anyone. I wrote letters to you every day for a year after you stopped talking to me. A YEAR! Even after that I sent letters to you when I could between training and trial missions.”

 

Kurasame jerked at that news. He hadn't known that the other had been going out on missions before joining the cadet program. Ace could have died at any point out there, and Kurasame would never have known, never have even remembered the friend that he once had. And letters? He didn't remember receiving that many letters.

 

“I never received that many letters......Only a few every year....”

 

“Oh well Kazuza said that you wouldn't reply but that you always read them......” Ace trailed off awkwardly.

 

It was in that moment that Kurasame realised that someone had been screening his mail and disposing of the letters. He made a note to thank Kazuza for giving Ace hope, where he himself had tried to crush it.

 

“Ah yes, Kazuza normally found what he could and would read them out to me.”

 

Ace seemed to flush bright red at the knowledge that the other man had read the things that he had written to Kurasame.

 

“Not to worry, he won't tell anyone what was written in your letters.” Ace seemed to relax slightly at this.

 

“I'd like to start over as friends again if we could?” Kurasame asked hopefully.

 

“Hello my name is Kurasame Susaya and I'm a bit of an idiot sometimes but I hope that you can put up with me anyway.”

 

The rage that had been simmering inside Ace, sputtered and died in that moment, smothered by the soft giggles that he couldn't contain at the introduction.

 

“Oh Raz” Kurasame's heart swelled with happiness at hearing the name come from Ace's lips.

 

“You're so silly. I don't want to start over. Our friendship is one of the things that has made me who I am today, and I don't want to forget that. Let's just continue where we left off and get to know each other again yeah?”

 

Kurasame nodded in agreement.

 

“So how's Chandraneel doing? I haven't had a chance to get down to the stables in a while. I bet he's pretty down that he doesn't get to go out on missions anymore.”

 

Kurasame chuckled. Of course that would be the first thing on Ace's mind. “He's good. Getting on a bit now, but still holds the name 'Demon Bird' according to some of the ranch hands. He is a bit restless now that he doesn't get to go out much, but you are more than welcome to take him out if you need a chocobo. I will like the staff know.”

 

Ace gaped at him. “You....you would let me take out Chand? Like for real? Are you even serious right now?”

 

Ace squealed and launched himself at the other man as he nodded. Knocking Kurasame flat on his back with a small 'oof' sound, Ace proceeded to hug the life out of him.

 

“You. Are. The. Best. Friend. Ever!” Each word was punctuated by another bone crushing hug, as Kurasame lay laughing under the enthusiastic boy.

 

Patting Ace gently on the back, Kurasame managed to ease them into a sitting position with Ace perched on his lap. Slightly alarmed at how good it felt to have the other sitting there, Kurasame coughed and glanced away asking if he was hungry. A loud angry grumble came form Ace's stomach before he had the chance to answer.

 

Forgoing teasing the boy about his stomach's manners, Kurasame suggested that they make their way down to the ready room to get some dinner.

 

“Ok, it's a date!” winked Ace as he went and collected his jacket and shoes.

 

Kurasame could only wish that it were a date.

 

_'Whoa whoa whoa there! Where the hell did that thought come from? Ace is just my friend that's all, his 9 years younger friend. It doesn't matter if he is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. Do NOT go there brain!'_

 

By the time Kurasame was done mentally berating himself, Ace was redressed and ready to go.

 

“Come on old man, I'm going to starve at this rate.” And then he darted out of the room to find the portal back to the hall.

 

That cheeky little shit. Calling him old man again, oh he'd make the boy pay for that. Upon exiting his room, Kurasame noticed that Ace was standing confusedly in the middle of the walkway looking lost.

 

“Erm I have no idea where I'm going.” He admitted sheepishly.

 

“Well then you'll have to follow this old man then, let's just hope my memory is still good enough to be able to get us there.” Kurasame mocked.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry for calling you old man.” If there were awards for the most insincere apology, that would have won first prize.

 

Finally making it to the ready room, the two sat at a free table chatting as Ace ate.

 

“Are you not going to eat?” Ace asked hesitantly, picking at his own food.

 

“Ah no,” responded Kurasame. “I don't like to remove my mask when I'm around other people.” He reached up to lightly touch his mask with his gloved fingertips. Nodding in understanding, Ace began to eat and the conversation started to flow again.

 

They spoke of all of the things that had happened in their time apart, of training and lessons, of weapons and magic, chocobos and students. They filled in the gaps in knowledge that they had managed to gather from outside sources, and soothed hurt feelings with small smiles and light touches to hands to reassure.

 

To an outsider the pair indeed looked like they were on a date. The chemistry between the two was undeniable and it was clear that they both got along well. Both parties involved also thought that this felt like a date, but neither was prepared to deal with the consequences of such a development in the wake of their newly re-established friendship.

 

Things continued this way for over a year until Ace's 18th birthday. As a surprise, Kurasame had arranged for the two of them to go out for a ride on chocobos and enjoy a picnic on the cliff overlook Akademeia and the ocean.

 

On the morning of his birthday, Kurasame slipped quietly into Ace's room, nodding politely to his roommate Eight as he exited. Rolling his eyes at his commanding officer and wishing him luck, Eight beat a hasty retreat. No one liked being the person to try to get Ace up, he slept like the dead and was twice as hard to wake.

 

Startled at the other's hasty retreat, Kurasame made his way over to Ace's bed. When he got there, he looked down at his friend. Blonde hair tussled from sleep, several strands covering his face; one arm tucked under the pillow clutching it to him while his other limbs lay spread across the rest of the bed. Blankets lay tangled around slim legs covered in pyjamas, but his t-shirt had ridden up flashing a tantalising glimpse of smooth pale skin.

 

Reaching out slowly, Kurasame gently brushed a few strands of hair aside and studied the face before him. Clear pale skin, with a freckle or two over his nose, blonde brows gently arched over closed eyes protected by thick dark lashes and slightly furrowed in sleep. Small straight nose, leading down towards softly pouted pink lips. Gods when had his young friend grown into such a beautiful young man?

 

Pulling himself away reluctantly, Kurasame tried calling out to Ace quietly so as to not startle the boy.

 

“Ace,” nothing, not even a twitch. “Ace” he tried again louder, with the same result.

 

For the next few minutes Kurasame tried all different combinations of yelling and shaking Ace with no success. The most he had achieved was an annoyed grumble from Ace, who then proceeded to roll himself up tightly in his sheets. Completely exasperated, Kurasame decided that the time for being nice was now over.

 

Cracking his knuckles in preparation, Kurasame let a wicked smirk form, hidden by his mask, before he dived at Ace with a war cry; fingers wriggling against any flesh that they came in contact with. Shrieking in shock, Ace's eyes flew open even as he tried and failed to defend his sides from the, in his mind, unprovoked attack upon his person.

 

“Wh....what the hell Kurasame? St...st..sto...stop you smelly hobo old man ass!” Kurasame could not hold in his laughter at the way that Ace tried to both insult him and bat his hands away at the same time.

 

“Oh Ace, I tried to wake you up nicely. But your aversion to waking left me with no choice.”

 

Finally he decided to let up on the tickling and smirked down at Ace. The vision of the tousled, panting boy beneath him had him quickly back pedalling. Thoughts of other situations where Ace might be in that position flashed through his mind before Kurasame ruthlessly shut them down.

 

' _Not going there. Nope, not today, not ever!'_

 

“It's my birthday” Ace pouted up at Kurasame. “You're meant to be nice to me today Raz.”

 

“I am being nice kid.” Ace frowned at being called kid still. “C'mon get up and get ready. I have a surprise for you and I doubt you'll want to be wandering around in your pyjamas for it.”

 

Grumbling about stupid mean old men who didn't know how to be nice to their friends, Ace stretched as he got up and went and got changed in the bathroom. When he was finally ready, Kurasame grabbed hold of his hand and quickly tugged him out of the room and towards the Great Portal. When they arrived at the chocobo stables, Chandraneel and another red chocobo stood saddled and ready, a wicker basket attached to the red.

 

“Wha..what's going on?” Ace asked bewildered.

 

“Surpirse.” Kurasame said softly, smiling down at Ace. Although he couldn't see the man's mouth, the little crinkles beside his eyes gave him away.

 

“I'm taking you out of Akademeia for a picnic, just like the second time that we met. But this time it will just be us.”

 

“You're the best friend anyone could possibly wish for!” Ace threw his arms around the taller man, squeezing him tightly. “Thank you Kurasame.” Ace laid a quick chaste kiss upon the exposed skin of Kurasame's cheek and when he drew back, both men were flushed a light red.

 

“Uh yeah, ah no worries. I wanted to do something special for your 18th birthday.” Kurasame patted his jacket pocket to make sure that the gift he had placed there had not fallen out in their earlier tussle.

 

“Come on let's go. I've only been given leave to take you out for 2 hours.”

 

Ace headed towards the red chocobo to mount, but Kurasame gently guided him towards his proudly prancing blue. Seeing Ace's shocked face, Kurasame let out a chuckle.

 

“He's been missing you recently. Keeps looking over the paddock fence even when I'm here. You should ride him today and give him the attention he wants, ok?”

 

With a look of joy on his face, Ace went to Chand and hugged the excited chocobo petting his neck feathers as the giant bird bent his head to gently start grooming his hair. Smiling at the reuniting duo, Kurasame mounted the other bird and called out to Ace.

 

“You two can cuddle all you want when we're eating, but for now we need to get going before our time runs out.”

 

Gasping at the thought of missing out on the surprise picnic that had been planned, Ace gave one last pet and then jumped aboard the chocobo. Following after Kurasame, Ace enjoyed being able to leave Akademeia without a mission or task that needed to be completed. He enjoyed the feel of the wind whipping by as the chocobos raced towards their destination, the sun was high in the sky by now and it took away the chill in the air coming off of the sea.

 

Once upon the cliff, Kurasame reined his bird in and dismounted; untying the basket and laying out a blanket for Ace and himself to sit on. For the birds, he drew out packets of greens and laid them out before leading the mesmerised Ace to sit on the blanket. Taking out the food and drink, both men filled their plates. A little self consciously, Kurasame tied a cloth around his face so that he could eat without showing the scars left from his past. With a look of sadness and understanding, Ace didn't say anything about it but continued to eat.

  
Inside, Ace felt a bit hurt that the other man could not even show him the scars when they were alone, but it was not his place to push and demand to see. He knew that more than just the scars, but what they stood for, hurt Kurasame the most.

 

An hour passed quickly with both food, drink and conversation flowing freely. At a pause in conversation though, Kurasame reached deep into his pocket to grab the present that he had placed in there.

 

“Close your eyes Ace, and hold out your hands.”

 

Ace gave him an incredulous look. “What are we 10?” But still dark lashes once again fell to cover bright blue eyes, delicate hands rising up and being held in a cupped position to receive the final surprise Kurasame had for him.

 

Waving a hand quickly in front of the other's eyes, Kurasame placed the present into his hands. A slight frown of consternation crossed Ace's face as it was laid in his hands.

 

“Ok you can open them now.”

 

Ace's eyes flew open and he gasped in shock. For there sitting in his hands was a perfect tiny statue of a chocobo made out of ice. The amount of detail in the tiny carving was unbelievable. There were shiny eyes and curved beak, individual feathers and tiny clawed feet. The little chocobo even had a tiny saddle upon it's back. Ace clutched the little ice statue to his chest, tears in his eyes.

 

“Oh Raz....it's beautiful. Did you make this?”

 

Kurasame nodded. “Yeah, I wanted to give you something special. And don't worry about it ever melting either, it's spelled so that it won't.”

 

Ace threw himself at the other man hugging him tightly, burying his tears against the other's shoulder. Kurasame brought his arms up around the young man in his arms, clutching him back just as tightly. Ace was babbling through his tears, but Kurasame could only understand bits and pieces of what he was saying.

 

“Gods.......best.......can't believe.........thought lost...........friends...........Raz.........never leave........love you.”

 

Kurasame's arms tightened unconsciously around Ace at those words until he came to the realisation that he had probably meant that in a platonic way.

 

“It's ok Ace. I'm so sorry for leaving you, I promise that I'll never ever do that again ok? I'll never leave you all alone ever again you hear? Never.”

 

Slowly Ace's tears tapered off, leaving the boy with red-rimmed eyes and a runny nose, but a smile brighter than the sun could ever hope to be. Wiping his eyes on his sleeve and finding a handkerchief in his pocket, thanks Seven, Ace finally looked back up at Kurasame only a little embarrassed by his breakdown. Enjoying the closeness of the other man, Ace decided to take advantage and snuggled in closer to Kurasame's side.

 

“This is nice” Ace murmurerd. A soft 'hmm' was his only answer. “Thank you Kurasame, this is the best birthday that I have ever had, and could ever hope for.”

 

“I'm glad Ace. I do hate to be the bearer of bad news though, we do need to head back now before I get yelled at for not having you back in time.”

 

“Mmmhmm.” Grumbled Ace turning to face the other man.

 

Kurasame had not changed the cloth around his face for his mask yet, so with all the bravado that he possessed, Ace closed his eyes and carefully lifted the bottom of the cloth covering his mouth. The soft indrawn breath of shock and the sudden tensing of Kurasame's muscles almost made him falter, but he pressed on. Fingertips gently feeling their way towards the other's mouth, brushing against scarred skin before landing on soft, plush lips. Following his finger's direction, Ace's lips landed softly against Kurasame's in a soft sweet kiss.

 

Pulling back slowly, still with his eyes closed, Ace gently lowered the cloth again. Turning away to start packing up the mess they had made, Ace could not bring himself to look Kurasame in the eye. Kurasame had yet to say anything and he couldn't help but feel that he had just made a huge mistake and ruined their friendship again. Plastering a false smile on his face, Ace turned around and saw that the metal mask was now firmly back in place.

 

“Well I think that's about everything packed!” He chirped with false cheer. “Just need to reattach this stuff to the saddles and we're ready to go.”

 

“Ace...” Kurasame started to say before Ace cut him off.

 

“Chop chop let's get moving. Wouldn't want the higher ups to get their knickers in knot at us for being late.”

 

“Ace!” Kurasame forcefully called as he grabbed ahold of the fleeing cadet.

 

“Yes?” Ace meekly answered.

 

“Please don't run away from me. Please talk to me?” Kurasame begged.

 

“I...I won't run away. But I can't talk about this. Not now. Please, just leave it for today?” Kurasame could see how desperate Ace was to avoid talking about what had just transpired between them, his heart dropping when he saw the boy's scared and dismayed look.

 

“Ok, not now I guess, we don't really have time just now for this conversation. But soon, we will talk about this soon yeah? There are things that I need to talk to you about too. Just know Ace, that the gesture wasn't unwelcome.” He said softly, hand brushing aside blonde bangs gently.

 

At hearing this, Ace slumped in relief and dipping his head in acknowledgement, he went to mount Chand who was eyeing the both of them with curious eyes. After strapping their gear back to his saddle, Kurasame mounted up and they headed back home.

 

It was a lot more sombre and pensive Ace that returned to Akademeia that afternoon, though after a quick look at his face, none of his siblings decided to bring up the change. Instead they pulled him into their own party that they had planned, all fawning over the little ice statue that Kurasame had made. At the evidence of the older man's artistic talent Sice perked up, her not too subtle crush rearing it's head, until a nudge and look from Seven had her deflating again.

 

Sice rolled her eyes. _'Yeah, yeah. Keep my hands off Ace's friend'_ she got it. She didn't need to be reminded of that fact every minute. Just.....sometimes. Like now when the man showed himself to be even more talented than expected. A talented man in uniform.....mmm yes please.

 

If those two bone heads didn't hurry up and confess soon though, heads were going to roll. Anyone with eyes could see that the two had it bad for each other, but were just a little too dense to see that for themselves. She just hoped that they could work it out, and soon. Sice had a bad feeling that things were changing fast, and none of it for the better. She hadn't told anyone else, but she had a terrible feeling that their time remaining was limited, and she wasn't sure what that meant for them.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again some dialogue taken from in game.

 

 

Unfortunately the discussion regarding the potential changes in their relationship had to be put on hold, as the next morning an urgent mission was delivered to Class Zero from the Consortium members.

 

Kurasame was worried for his students as this new mission was extremely dangerous and had the potential to go bad really quickly. Added to that, it would be undertaken on Milites governed land, and there would be little no chance of back up if it all went FUBAR.

 

“Class Zero, you have been tasked with infiltrating Ingram to destroy their facility and research and development factories. You are also to find and destroy all Magitek prototypes that you find. As this is an extremely delicate mission we are unable to provide you with back up, and as such you will be responsible for making it out on your own to the pick up point once you are successful.”

 

Kurasame made eye contact with every one of his students, trying to impress upon them the seriousness of this task. Most nodded back to him with serious looks on their faces, while others like Jack and Nine had smirks on their faces. Kurasame could only hope and pray that the two did not let their cockiness get in the way of their common sense.

 

His gaze finally settling on Ace, he finally let some of the emotion he was feeling bleed out into his expression. He hoped that Ace could tell how scared he was that the other would not return from this mission, that he hoped that the boy would be careful and not allow Kurasame to forget who he was.

 

Eyes widening slightly at the rare show of emotion from his commander and friend, Ace gave a tiny nod of acknowledgement showing his understanding of not just his spoken words, but the unspoken words hidden in his eyes.

 

****

 

Whilst travelling to Rokol to meet their contact who would get them into Ingram, Ace absent-mindedly stroked the blue feathers of Chandraneel. He knew that he should be focusing on the upcoming mission, but he just could not get the feel of gentle fingers stroking over his cheek as a goodbye out of his head. As he had been down at the chocobo stables to collect his usual bird, Kurasame had already been waiting for him with a saddled Chand.

 

“ _Kurasame, are you coming with us?” Ace had exclaimed in surprise._

 

“ _Ah no I'm not Ace.” Kurasame had looked slightly off to the side, unable to meet Ace's eyes. “I would like it if you took Chand with you on this mission. It would make me feel better knowing that he would be there to help protect you and bring you safely back to me.”_

 

_Ace's face flushed a bright red at his words._

 

“ _I....I mean if you're sure?” He replied hesitantly. “Thank you Raz.”_

 

“ _You are most welcome Ace.” Kurasame paused, as though hesitant to continue before reaching out and stroking his gloved thumb gently across Ace's cheek affectionately, drawing his face towards his own until their foreheads rested against each other._

 

“ _Be safe Ace. Promise that you will return to me no matter what happens. Please.” His words were pleading, desperation and hope underlying ever syllable._

 

“ _I can't make that promise Raz,” Ace said sadly. “I can promise that I will do my best do so though. Afterall, we have an important conversation to have still don't we?”_

 

_With one last fierce hug, Ace mounted Chand and left to join the rest of his siblings, turning once to wave over his shoulder at the lone man standing watching him leave._

 

“Ace! ACE!” With a start Ace was wrenched from his thoughts as he realised that someone was calling out to him. With an embarrassed cough, he finally looked up to see who was calling him.

 

Deuce sighed in exasperation, though it was tempered with good natured glee at catching Ace day-dreaming. Plus she had a feeling that she knew what he had been lost in thought about.

 

“Ah yes, sorry Deuce. What is is?” Ace asked sheepishly. By the look on her face, Ace knew he was so busted. By lunch everyone would know he'd been day-dreaming about the commander. The joys of having his siblings as classmates.

 

“We've arrived in Rokol, we're just waiting for our contact to show up, so we need to stable the birds.”

 

Nodding quickly, they dismounted and led their birds towards the stables. Along the way Ace caught sight of what looked like a very old magitek in the courtyard surrounded by cadets.

 

“I'd wager that our contact is over there near the magitek,” Ace gestured towards the courtyard. Looking over and seeing what Ace did, Deuce quickly agreed and left to tell the others to head over there once they were ready.

 

Travelling with 14 other people in the tiny contraption was not something that Ace was keen to repeat anytime soon, but it did get them into the facility without any troubles he supposed. Once in, they decided to split into groups of four or five to try to hit all the different labs without setting of any alarms.

 

Being one of the more strategic fighters, Ace was in the group of four along with Nine, Cinque and Rem. Machina had protested loudly at being separated from Rem until Sice had all but demanded that he shut up and get on with his own mission so that everyone could go home. The glare she sent towards the boy made all the others shudder and feel glad that it wasn't directed at them.

 

Finally making their way into their assigned lab, Ace sent a quiet notification to the others to let them know that they were in position. Another confirmation was quick to follow, and now they were just waiting for the last group. A sudden crackle in their COMMs proceeded King's voice.

 

“Sorry for the wait. We are now ready and in position. Wait for my mark.......NOW!”

 

Simultaneously the three groups launched their attacks.

 

“Nine, quick take out that panic alarm before some idiot sets it off!” Ace yelled out to his team mate. With a huge jump, Nine thrust his lance into the little box obliterating it beyond repair. With that problem out of the way, and no possible way for the scientists to call for back up the group set to work knocking them all out and tying them up.

 

As the last lab technician fell, Ace headed towards the computer to corrupt the data on all the prototypes to weaken them.

 

“Data corruption confirmed.”

 

“Seconded.”

 

“Completed. Let us all head to the meeting point. From there we will head towards the hangar where the machines are. Keep in contact, and if you run into any troubles then send an SOS and we will come to assist.”

 

“Okie dokie King-y.” Ace wanted to face palm at Cinque, but he knew that was just how the exuberant girl was.

 

In the end it took very little effort for the 14 of them to destroy the magitek prototypes and fend off the attacks of Brionac. The ranged fighters stood back near the entrance sending off rounds of arrows, bullets and cards; while the melee fighters darted in and out between attacks. It was afterwards when they came up against the White Tiger Primus l'Cie Nimbus that things started to go awry.

 

 _'Oh hell I'm going to die here and Kurasame is going to kill me!'_ Ace panicked as he ran from the powerful attacks of the l'Cie.

 

All of the close range fighters had already been knocked out, one and sometimes two at a time, falling to the unstoppable attacks directed at them. The ranged fighters had lasted little longer after Nimbus' attention had turned towards them. Only the fact that Ace was quick on his feet had saved him from joining his classmates, but he was tiring quickly.

 

“I Queen Andoria hereby invoke the Fabula Pact.............lay down your weapons and cease all fighting immediately.......” Ace could barely hear the words over the pounding of his heart. All that he knew was that Nimbus had stopped attacking and had started to withdraw.

 

Staying alert in case this was a ruse to knock him off guard, Ace was alarmed when soldiers from Milites flooded the room. Quickly taking a defensive stance, he was startled when a rough, dry voice spoke to him.

 

“Foolish child” Nimbus snorted in disdain. “The Fabula Pact is a ceasefire on all fronts and as such means that you will not be attacked again. For Now.”

 

Nearly collapsing from sheer relief, Ace quickly followed the soldiers who were carrying his siblings towards a 'guest room' for them to stay in. Noticing that the room's windows were barred and there was a guard on the door, Ace could not help but wonder if they were really just being held as glorified prisoners.

 

****

 

When the confirmation came through that the facility and prototypes in Ingram had been destroyed, Kurasame felt himself sag in relief. He soon regretted his hasty thoughts as the cries of his cadets rang out over their COMMs as one by one they were felled as they tried to fight Nimbus. Eventually there was only the sound of one cadet left, the ragged panting breaths indicating that they were nearing exhaustion, when the blessed voice of Queen Andoria rang out ordering an immediate ceasefire.

 

At this point the Consortium members and Commanders all breathed a sigh of relief. Their cadets were safe and would soon return to them. It was around a day later that it all went to hell. FUBAR did not even begin to cover the situation.

 

The Queen dead with all fingers pointing at Class Zero, who to Kurasame's consternation could not be reached on the COMMs. Milites was baying for their blood, hunting them down as they had escaped confinement in their bid to return home safely.

 

The Consortium was furious. How dare they break the ceasefire and attack the Queen! This would have far ranging consequences, and damn if they were not going to point fingers and lay blame on any person even remotely involved in this fiasco.

 

Kurasame was completely fed up with the stuffed shirts at the top of the chain of command. To even think that Class Zero had had anything at all to do with the assassination was ludicrous. He did however know that regardless of who was actually to blame, the finger was going to be squarely pointed at his class and there was nothing that he could do to help. Indeed he would also be punished for their perceived disgracing of the Dominion.

 

With no news coming out of Milites and the cadets gone AWOL the Dominion held their breath as they waited for something to happen; whether it be a communication from the cadets or an attack from Milites.

 

It was another 2 days before a weak, static filled transmission was received from the missing cadets. They had made it to an abandoned shack in the Old Lorican region and were taking refuge there until the airship could pick them up from the Jubanla region. They would have to fight their way there through the monsters that inhabited the area, and Kurasame could only hope that they were fit enough to make it.

 

The cadets that disembarked from the airship were a sorry looking bunch. They were dirty, tired and hungry; pushed beyond the limits of what such young people should have to endure. They stoically endured the looks of disgust thrown at them from other cadets who blamed them, and even from other Commanders and high ranking officials.

 

Delaying the dressing down that was sure to be given as the Commandant stormed towards them, Kurasame stood before them and told them to go eat, sleep and wash and he would see them the next day. The look of absolute fury on the Commandant's face let Kurasame know that his interference would not go unpunished.

 

Following the older man into his office, not one word that came out of his mouth was a surprise to Class Zero's Commander. The Consortium was holding Class Zero and himself responsible for the current crisis, however in the next big battle that was planned if Kurasame himself were to lead a battalion to help the l'Cie Caetuna the summon the Verboten Eidolen then this would all be overlooked.

 

Looking deeply into the other man's eyes, Kurasame knew that he was being handed a death sentence even as he agreed to the terms. There was nothing that he would not do to protect his cadets, and if that meant that he had to die, then he would do so willingly. The next day Kurasame sent a note to Ace to meet him and he headed out to wait on the Terrace. He had not been standing there for long though when he was accosted by both Nine and Cater.

 

“Hey is it true? Word has it that it's OUR fault that you have to go out on this next mission, yo!” Nine exclaimed. Damn Kurasame had forgotten how quickly rumours spread these days.

 

“Is that any way to talk to your Commanding Officer? By the Crystal, you are a child” Kurasame tried to head off the conversation before it could get started. If he just managed to rile Nine up enough, the boy would soon forget what he had even come here to talk about.

 

“Don't go changing the subject” Damn, he'd forgotten that Cater was there too.

 

Sighing heavily, knowing that there was nothing that could possibly drag the truth out of him, he lied to the two concerned cadets before him.

 

“It was not your fault. If anyone's to blame, it's me.”

 

“I don't give a damn about any of that!” Nine interjected angrily. “I mean will your body even hold up in a large scale operation like this in the first place, yo?”

 

“I can still use magic, but the body does not lie. I can't move like I used to, so I am not truly fit.”

 

Nine and Cater seemed surprised that their commander was being so honest with them about this.

 

“I am no longer the Ice Reaper of old. Still I am not completely useless.”

 

Vague memories of days past where a young Ace had rambled and gushed about the exploits of his friend Kurasame 'Raz the Ice Reaper' Susaya flittered through their memories. If even half of the things that Ace had told them had been true, then maybe Kurasame would be ok out there. Even if he was old.

 

The concern that these two cadets was showing for him warmed his heart. They tried to hide their worry behind tough words and brash actions, but Kurasame could easily detect the genuine fear of him dying. He wondered a little how much they worried about him, and how much they worried on behalf of their brother. In the end it mattered little as the crystal would erase all trace of his existence from their memories.

 

“I doubt that we would forget you, seriously.” Nine replied in response to his seemingly flippant dismissal regarding his possible death. “I mean you're Class Zero's Commander.”

 

“...I see” Kurasame was taken aback at the persistent way Nine and Cater swore that they would remember him. “In that case, I pray that you will remember me, as your Commanding Officer, and a real pain in the ass.”

 

Gods how he wished that someone, just one person would be able to remember him after he died. He didn't want to think about being erased from everyone's memories, from Ace's memories. He knew how impossible it was to try to remember those that had passed, but still he hoped. But he also did not want them to be held back because of grief.

 

“Yeah you got that right! We couldn't forget an annoying guy like you if we tried!” Behind his mask, Kurasame cracked a small smile at Nine's words. He hoped that the hot-headed boy never changed.

 

“Don't flatter me,” Kurasame replied drily. “Just make me proud on mission day.”

 

With sharp nods, the two cadets headed back to the portal nearly running into Ace as he exited. Commenting quietly to the blonde boy about idiot commanders, the two stepped into the portal leaving Ace and Kurasame alone on the Terrace.

 

“Ah Ace, it is good that you were able to make it. I believe that you owe me a conversation.”

 

Kurasame smirked at the blush that spread over Ace's cheeks.

 

“Umm, yes I umm I guess I do, don't I?” Ace looked around nervously, as though expecting someone to jump out at them. “Is there somewhere private that we can talk please?”

 

“We can talk in my quarters. No one should disturb us there.” Kurasame suggested, leading the flushed boy towards his room. The pair garnered a few looks here and there, but for the most part, most of the other cadets seemed to be ignoring the presence of any member of Class Zero for the moment.

 

When they made it to his room, Kurasame made sure to lock the door behind them as when they entered. He wanted no interruptions while they were talking, and Kazuza had been known to burst into his room whenever he felt like it without knocking.

 

Watching the nervous cadet pace agitatedly before him, Kurasame decided that as the older of the two perhaps he should start. As calmly as possible, Kurasame walked further into his room and positioned himself leaning against his desk.

 

“Ace.” The speed with which Ace lifted his head, made Kurasame wince. He hadn't meant to startle him, hadn't realised that he had been so deep in thought either.

 

“We've known each other now for 10 years, give or take. And during that time you have become one of my best friends, even when I left you I still thought of you often and had wished that things were different. I know it was my own fault,” Kurasame cut across the protest Ace was about to make. “But I can not change how I did things back then.”

 

“It hurt when it happened Kurasame, but you have to know that I have forgiven you long ago.” Ace replied with a small reassuring smile.

 

“I do know that, and I thank the Gods every day that you have, for I could not imagine my life without you in it.” Kurasame took a deep breath ' _here goes nothing I guess_.'

 

“Over the past few years as our friendship has been rekindled, I have found myself developing feelings of a romantic nature for you. I know that being much older than you and as your Commanding Officer I should not harbour these feelings, but all I know is that you make my heart race and I want to be with you.”

 

Ace finally stopped his pacing and made his way over to the older man, cheeks flushed in embarrassed pleasure and eyes shining with love. Grabbing Kurasame's gloved hands in his own, Ace looked into his eyes as he responded.

 

“I don't care if you are much older than I am, age is just a number and neither it nor our difference in rank matter to me. There are times that I feel as though you know me better than I know myself, but there is no doubt in my mind that what I feel for you is love. I have tried to deny these feelings, as I despaired that they would never be returned.”

 

Ace looked away, a fleeting look of sadness passed through his eyes.

 

“There are many much more deserving of your attention, many that I know would love to have a chance to be with you; but I find that I can not simply step aside and give you up to them. I am selfish in the way that I want all of your attention on me and no one else.”

 

“Oh Ace,” Kurasame lifted a gloved hand and rested it against Ace's face, cupping his cheek and turning the boy's face back towards his own.

 

“There is no one that I would rather be with than you. The others all see me as a CO of the Dominion or the Ice Reaper. But you, you see me as me. To you I am Raz the boy you helped pick out a chocobo and had picnics with. I am your friend first and foremost and I want nothing more than to be the centre of your attention as well. So please....be mine?”

 

He was selfish for wanting this, for doing this now when the very next day their tasks would take them to opposite sides of the battlefield and he knew that he at least would not make it back alive. Was it right for him to do this, know that by tomorrow's end he would not even be a memory in Ace's mind? But in the end Kurasame knew that if he must die tomorrow, then he wanted this one last memory of his beloved to take with him.

 

With no hesitation Ace launched himself at Kurasame, forcing the other man against the desk.

 

“Yes, yes I will, as long as you will be mine.”  
  
“Always. I am yours forever.”

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blanc_Tide suggested that a good theme for this story is 'What About Us' by P!nk, so give it a listen and tell me what you think.
> 
> There is smut in this chapter, so if you don't want to read that, the beginning and end are marked with *`*`*` as a page break.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

 

 

Hesitantly Ace reached out to grab hold of Kurasame's mask to remove it, but paused when he saw the look of fear that briefly flashed through his eyes, and his hands clenched on his waist involuntarily. Why the man thought that the scars on his face would in anyway disgust him confused Ace, but to put Kurasame at ease as soon as his hands laid against the sides of the mask he closed his eyes.

 

Gently pulling the cloth and metal covering away from Kurasame's face, Ace felt around for the desk to lay it upon. Once he had placed it on the desk, his hands rose to land on Kurasame's shoulders. With eyes still closed, he could not see the way that Kurasame's eyes had softened at the care that Ace was showing him.

 

Ace's hands wandered up his shoulders and felt along the curve of his ears, carding gently through soft blue locks. Fingertips dragged over the arch of his brows, following the sharp blade of his nose; thumbs catching briefly on Kurasame's lip causing them to part. The hands then carefully, hesitantly, spread out and over the ruined flesh of his cheeks. Not once did the delicate hands falter at the feel of scarred skin beneath the soft fingers, not once did Ace's face show disgust or revulsion.

 

Instead those loving hands pulled Kurasame down towards the other, so that he could press a soft kiss upon each marred cheek, finally moving to lay a kiss upon Kurasame's trembling lips. Eyes finally opening to see what his hands could feel, the complete lack of judgement or loathing caused the breath to still in Kurasame's lungs.

 

“You are so beautiful” Ace murmured to him, love and honesty shining in his eyes. “I know you are scared about the scars, but they are a part of you and I love all of you; they are a part of what made you the man that you are today. You never need to hide them from me ever again.”

 

And Kurasame broke. Great tears of love and sorrow fell from his eyes as he clutched Ace to him. Never had a person accepted him so wholly. Other lovers had not been able to stand seeing the scars and had turned away from him, Kazuza and Emina had not been able to handle the feelings of grief that seeing the scars had invoked. It was only fitting that this boy that he had fallen in love with, would be the one to accept him, to free him from the guilt of his past.

 

Ace held Kurasame as he shuddered in his arms, gently running his hands soothingly over his back and through his hair. It was not long until the position became uncomfortable for them both though. Kurasame was quite a bit taller than Ace, and leaning upon the smaller boy was putting a strain on his body. As for Ace, trying to hold the other man up was no trifling matter. Making up his mind, Ace gently guided Kurasame towards his bed. He tugged off the commander's coat and helped to remove both of their shoes, then urging the other to lay down and climbed up to lay beside him.

 

Lying upon his bed, Kurasame lay spent. He felt drained from his emotional outburst and not a little embarrassed about it too. Looking into Ace's eyes though, all he saw was calm acceptance and he relaxed. That's right, there was no need to hide any part of himself from his lover. Drained, they both lay quietly, and eventually Kurasame fell into a light doze.

 

When he next awoke, Kurasame found himself looking into Ace's blue eyes as they watched over his sleeping form. Soft smile touching his lips, his eyes began wandering over the form of the boy, and he couldn't help but want to touch and explore this perfect creature before him. Tugging his gloves off quickly, he tossed them onto the table beside his bed.

 

 

*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

 

 

Like Ace had, Kurasame started his exploration by running his sword worn hands over Ace's face and through his hair. Emboldened by the look of happiness and contentment, his hands started to explore further. But first, he wanted another kiss. He wanted to taste those lips just to see if they tasted as sweet as they looked. Leaning towards Ace with a question in his eyes, he waited for the other to give him the go ahead before pressing his lips firmly upon Ace's own.

 

The kiss on Ace's birthday and their earlier kiss could not even hope to compare to this kiss. This kiss was so full of love and acceptance, with hope and trust and even a bit of lust. Kurasame parted his lips to allow his tongue to dart out to taste the other, and he could not hope to control the groan that burst out of him. The taste of sweet vanilla and honey burst across his tongue, urging him to deepen the kiss, have more of that taste fill his senses.

 

Eyes slipping closed, Ace surrendered control to Kurasame. Lips parting to let in the questing tongue, Ace could not help the shiver of arousal as it stroked and danced with his own. Ace's hands flew into Kurasame's hair to anchor himself, as the feelings the other was drawing out made him feel as though he could float away at a moment's notice.

 

As the kiss deepened, Kurasame's hands began to wander. Restless, impatient fingers tugged at the clasp of Ace's mantle finally releasing only for both items to be pushed aside in Kurasame's quest to discover more of Ace. Next nimble fingers sought out the buckles of Ace's jacket, as Ace's shy fingers hesitantly moved towards the buckle holding his tabard in place.

 

Gasping for air, Ace finally pulled away from the kiss eyes dazed and hazy. His small pink tongue darted out to gather the lingering taste of Kurasame left on his lips, driving the older man to dive in for another kiss. Shoving the jacket off of slim shoulders, Kurasame's patience was wearing thin. The shirt that Ace wore was too much for him and he tore the garment open, sending the buttons flying before that too was removed. Lying panting before Kurasame wearing just his pants, Ace thought that it was time to remove more of the other's clothes.

 

Reaching out his hands, Ace avoided the kiss that Kurasame was trying to take and tugged both tabard and black jumper over the other man's head, leaving him in the same state of undress as himself. Breath catching in his throat, Ace reached out reverent hands to run along the sleek, muscled skin before him. Giving Kurasame a gentle push backwards, the other fell back against the sheets as Ace followed him down.

 

With fingers and mouth Ace explored every scar left upon Kurasame's flesh, every mark. Stroked along smooth skin and rough, occasionally leaving kiss marks behind.

 

“Beautiful” Ace repeated over and over again each time he moved to a new piece of flesh. “Mine.” His eyes flashed with possessive glee, sending a strong wave of lust through Kurasame's body.

 

Control frayed beyond belief, Kurasame abruptly sat up and flipped Ace over so that now Kurasame was the one hovering over him. Glittering eyes stared back at him, lips swollen from their kisses parted to allow panting breaths to escape. Looking like this, Ace was a temptation that Kurasame could just not resist. Not that he would ever want to anyway. Diving back down, instead of aiming for his lips, Kurasame's mouth attached itself to Ace's neck.

 

With lips and teeth and tongue, he drew the blood to the surface leaving a bold red mark for all to see, to know that Ace was his; belonged to him and him only. Task accomplished, Kurasame left soft sucking kisses down Ace's chest turning to lavish attention upon his nipples. Fingers plucking and pinching at the neglected bud before swapping over once he was satisfied. The gasping moans falling from Ace's lips and the fingers clenched in his hair urged Kurasame on further.

 

With the hand not supporting him, Kurasame abandoned his tugging to stroke down Ace's stomach. Muscles clenched as his hand passed, and Kurasame could not help but repeat the movement. Ace arched into the contact, silently begging for more and Kurasame would not deny him his wish. It did not take long for Ace's belt to be undone and his pants to be slipped off of his slim legs, and Kurasame's hand to make it's way into his underwear to stroke along heated flesh.

 

With a startled cry of ecstasy, Ace threw his head back and clutched the covers beneath his body. Drawn towards the source of those cries, Kurasame swallowed the next as he kissed Ace deeply. His own need pressing persistently against his pants, all but ignored as he watched the rapture on Ace's face.

 

“Please, please, more. I need more, _please_ Kurasame.” Ace's begging voice would be his undoing, he was sure of it.

 

“Hey easy, I've got you” Kurasame soothed, stroking Ace's tousled hair away from his flushed face. “Stay with me now.”

 

And with that he grasped the other in his hand, stroking the silken flesh that pulsed and throbbed as he devoured those sweet lips again. It did not take long for Ace to reach his climax, ripping his mouth away from the kiss, his scream of completion nearly enough to send Kurasame over the edge too. Withdrawing his hand from Ace's underwear, Kurasame helped the panting boy to remove the soiled cloth. Wiping his hand on the sheets, Kurasame laid down beside Ace stroking a gentle hand along his side to help him come down from his high.

 

After a few minutes, clarity returned to Ace's eyes as he smiled bashfully at Kurasame.

 

“That was amazing. Thank you Kurasame.” Kurasame let out a startled bark of laughter. Fancy being thanked for something like that! However he noticed that Ace was chewing hesitantly on his lip.

 

“What's wrong Love?” He asked softly.

 

“But what about you? You didn't.......did you?” Ace made a vague motion towards Kurasame's crotch.

 

“Ah no, I didn't. But that's ok, we don't have to go any further than this.”

 

“But what if I want to?”

 

Gods the way Ace looked up coyly from beneath lowered lashes caused him to throb in his pants again. There was no way the other didn't know what sort of effect he was having on him, especially with the glance he darted towards his covered arousal.

 

In answer, Kurasame once again drew Ace into another teasing kiss. Ace's restless hands wandered over Kurasame's back and sides, but when they reached his pants he tugged on them trying to remove them. Getting the hint, Kurasame pulled away briefly to remove both his pants and underwear, noticing the renewed look of lust upon Ace's face as he finally saw his naked body.

 

Tugging Kurasame back down for another kiss, both men moaned as their naked bodies finally rested against each other. Soon their bodies were rocking and straining against each other, gasping moans fell from both their lips as their mouths clashed together, kisses becoming desperate and sloppy.

 

Pulling back slightly, Kurasame grabbed a bottle of lubricant and held it up for Ace to see, silently asking for permission to continue. The eager way that Ace nodded, laid any fears Kurasame had to rest. Coating his fingers in slick, he slowly reached down towards the other's entrance.

 

“Relax for me Ace, or this will hurt.” He cautioned.

 

Heaving out a shuddering breath, Ace let his muscles go slack. The feeling of the finger entering him was strange at first, but not unpleasant. Then there were two and there was the slight sting of pain, though that was soon obliterated when Kurasame's fingers brushed up against something inside of him. Ace's body shuddered in pleasure, a cry ripped from his throat as Kurasame quietly chuckled, having found what he was looking for. From then on, Ace could hardly concentrate when more fingers were pushed inside of him, stretching him for what was to come next.

 

Finally satisfied that Ace was ready, Kurasame removed his fingers from his body. Grabbing more of the lubricant, he slicked up his own length and moved between the cradle of Ace's thighs. With a gentle loving kiss, Kurasame pushed into heaven. Warmth encased him, gripping him tightly and he had to pause so that he might gather up his control. Kurasame thrust slowly into Ace, each time reaching further and further until finally he was fully seated within Ace's body.

 

With a shaky nod from Ace, Kurasame began to thrust gently. The first sent Ace's head flying back exposing his throat to Kurasame's eager lips. The second drew cries of his name, mixed with moans and from there onwards Kurasame lost himself. Hips drawing together and apart, cries and the sounds of pleasure the only things that could be heard.

 

Grabbing a hold of one of Ace's legs, Kurasame lifted it above his hip locking it there as he pressed forward harder. Small hands flew to his shoulders grasping at them, holding him close as Ace fell apart beneath him. With a final cry, fingers and nails dragging down his back and leaving bright stripes of ownership, Ace fell over the edge once again. With Ace's release painting their chests and stomachs, Kurasame felt him tighten rhythmically around him pulling his climax from him. With a final thrust, Kurasame filled the other with his release.

 

 

*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

 

 

Spent, Kurasame gently rolled them so that Ace was lying atop him as they rested in the aftermath. Once they had recovered, Kurasame rose to find a damp cloth to clean them both up with before climbing in beside his beautiful blonde lover once again. If this was to be his last night on Orience, then Kurasame did not want to spend a single moment apart. Stroking his hand up and down Ace's back, Kurasame prayed to whatever Gods would listen that Ace would continue to live on without him, would not remember this selfish act of his.

 

Finally exhaustion caught up to the pair and the fell asleep twined around each other. Several times throughout the night they woke, reaching for each other and coming together again and again, until the first light of dawn filtered through the curtains. Heaving himself out of the warm comfort of Ace's arms, Kurasame prepared himself for the upcoming battle that day.

 

Stroking Ace's face to awaken him, Kurasame could not help but whisper to the boy.

 

“Though you will not remember me past this day, I pray that you will always know that I love you.”

 

Ace stirred lazily beneath the covers, stretching out his overused muscles. He smiled when he caught sight of Kurasame hovering over him, and could not help but to blush as memories of the night before assaulted him.

 

“After everything we did last night, you can still blush so prettily.” Kurasame teased.

 

“Sh...shut up Raz!” Ace exclaimed, red faced. His ire was soon soothed though, as Kurasame leaned down to offer him a kiss.

 

“I will remember last night for the rest of my life” Kurasame murmured to him. “You can not even begin to imagine what it meant to me.”

 

“If it means even half of what it meant to me, then I think I have an inkling.” Ace replied shyly.

 

“Indeed. But we must not tarry now, we are expected on the battlefield in less than two hours and we both still need to prepare.”

 

Ace nodded in understanding as he quickly gathered up his clothes and got dressed. The pair left Kurasame's rooms and headed towards the briefing room where the rest of Class Zero had gathered awaiting orders.

 

As they slipped into the room together, Sice threw a knowing look towards the pair, flashing a quick thumbs up at Ace as he turned red at the knowledge that everyone probably knew what had happened between Kurasame and himself last night.

 

After the briefing, there was no time left for the new lovers to be together as they headed out to the battlefield. Once the first sortie was over, Ace was surprised to see that Kurasame was waiting at the next Dominion camp.

 

“Raz?” Ace questioned. “Why are you here? I thought you were meant to help Lady Caetuna? Have your orders changed?”

 

“At ease Ace. My orders have not changed. I am merely here to offer some last support before I head out. Plus I wanted to say goodbye.”

 

Ace was disturbed by the fleeting look of sorrow that passed over Kurasame's face, and the fact that he was saying 'goodbye'.

 

“It's not really goodbye though.” Ace tried to state firmly. “We'll meet up after the battle is over won't we? I even have my good luck chocobo with me.” Ace help up the little ice chocobo.

 

Kurasame hesitated before responding. “Of course. I shall see you post battle. You had best take care of yourself Ace, bring yourself back in one piece please.”

 

A feeling of dread flooded through Ace's veins. Something was not right, but he didn't know what it was. However before he could pry any further, the cries of battle let him know that it was time to leave. With a furtive look around, Ace placed a fleeting kiss upon Kurasame's cheek before running towards his team.

 

Staring after his lover, Kurasame lifted a hand in belated farewell.  


“Farewell lover, maybe we'll meet again in the afterlife. But not too soon I pray.”

 

“Sir?” A passing Dominion Legionnaire questioned.

 

“Ah forgive me. Just lost in thought. I shall leave it to you now, as I am required at the other border. May the Crystal guide and spare you.”

 

With swift steps, Kurasame arrived at his chocobo's side and mounted up. Pointing the bird in the right direction, he let his thoughts drift. Each thought was there and gone in a flash, like sand pouring between your fingers no matter how hard you try to hold on to it. But the main thing he thought of was Ace. How he wished that he had more time, but wishing, he knew, was futile. He would live with the hand he had been dealt gladly, for he could not possibly conceive that the blame should ever be place upon his students backs for a murder that was not theirs.

 

Finally arriving at his assigned location, Kurasame gently removed the saddle from his bird and released him.

 

“Thank you old boy for bringing me this far. But this is the end of the road for us. You may return to Akademeia if you so wish, or stay out in the wilds. If you return, please watch over Ace for me?” Kurasame drew a shuddering breath as he laid his head upon his chocobo's.

 

The intelligent blue bird seemed to pick up on Kurasame's sadness, and 'warked' softly and sadly, head reaching around almost seeming to hug the man. With a deep breath, Kurasame pulled back and sent the bird on his way.

 

“Go on with you Chand. Here is no place for you just now. Off you go.” Flapping his hands gently at the bird, Chandraneel reluctantly backed away, before turning to run towards Akademeia.

 

“Goodbye old friend. And thank you.” Kurasame's whispered words were carried off by the breeze.

 

Striding towards the front line, stopping just behind Lady Caetuna, Kurasame steeled himself to answer her questions of devotion to their cause. Each and every person up on that hill knew what it meant to be there, yet none of them faltered in their duty.

 

There was a brief lull as they waited for Lady Caetuna to prepare herself for the summoning, so Kurasame decided to take the opportunity to speak one last to time to his class.

 

“Class Zero, respond!” He called out into his COMM. Without waiting for a response he continued.

 

“Your souls had infinite possibilities, and now you've all chosen your path. Good work.”

 

He quickly cut the connection before he broke down. Once more he prayed to the Gods and Crystal to ensure their safety.

 

As he turned back around, he noticed that Lady Caetuna was ready to begin the summoning. Gathering his courage, he stepped forward into position, hand thrust towards the sky; once more offering his life.

 

“For the Dominion!”

 

_'For Ace.'_

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

As the hundreds of lives were sacrificed to summon the Verboten Eidolon, the cadets of Class Zero were engaged in a fight for their lives with a being named Gilgamesh.

 

As he threw his cards and dodged the many attacks that were aimed his way, Ace was struck by a sudden sense of loss. The sudden feeling of despair that swept through him left him feeling helpless and paralysed and if it were not for Nine charging forward to intercept the sword aimed at him, he would have lost his life then and there.

 

Ace tried to keep his focus on the fight, but his body felt heavy with a loss that he could not place. He could not think of anyone that might be out there whose loss he might want to mourn.

 

With a final flurry of blows from the cadets, finally Gilgamesh withdrew from the fight leaving them exhausted but alive. They made their way back to Akademeia to give their report on the mission to their Commander. Strangely enough, none of the siblings could quite remember who it was that they were meant to be reporting to.

 

Upon entering the entrance hall, they received a message via their Comm unit to head to their classroom to be briefed. As they entered they noticed that Moglin and the tonberry that was frequently seen around were the only two waiting for them.

 

Looking at the tonberry, Ace had a feeling of nostalgia sweep through him. He thought that he could remember someone who had used to stand by him, that he had known them perhaps. Shaking his head quickly, Ace chastised himself for his foolish thoughts.

 

“I have some bad news for you all kupo.” Moglin started. “This afternoon, whilst leading the summoning units assigned to assist Lady Caetuna, your former commander Kurasame perished.”

 

The words coming out of the moogle's mouth were sad, yet the little creature did not seem to show any inflection in his words. It was almost like he was reciting information out of a book instead of announcing a death that in another world should have affected them all.

 

Upon hearing the name Kurasame, Ace saw a brief flash of indigo hair and clear blue eyes in his mind. He felt a sense of comfort, friendship and love flood him. The image and feelings disappeared with a flash, there and gone leaving him once again filled with a sense of loss. Jamming his hands into his pockets as he headed towards his dorm room, Ace was startled to find a small shard of what appeared to be ice shaped like a chocobo in his pocket.

 

Not knowing where or why he had the little trinket, Ace clutched it in his hand sensing that it was something important to him even if he couldn't remember why.

 

The next day found the Class Zero cadets in the cemetery talking about their fallen commander. The harsh words from the others about the man made Ace furious for some reason, but not knowing why and with the facts being laid out as they were, he swallowed his angry words.

 

As the days passed following Rubrum's victory, things seem to gradually worsen for the cadets of Class Zero. They had been sent on increasingly dangerous missions, only to face scorn and hatred from their fellow students. As these events played out, Ace frequently sought solace in the cemetery sitting by the headstone of his former commander. He did not understand what it was that kept drawing him to this particular spot, but it felt right to be there. Often times the tonberry that was usually in their classroom would sit by him, snuggling into his side.

 

When Ace visited the chocobo stables, there was one bird in particular that drew his attention. The bird was big and blue and so regal and it made his heart ache just looking at him. Approaching the bird tentatively, Ace reached out a hand to stroke the bird's crest feathers. Recognising the blonde boy, the bird gently nuzzled into his chest as though asking where his rider had gone. With a sudden flash of memory, Ace remembered the name of the bird.

 

“Chandraneel” and he buried his face in the soft feathers and cried. The sounds that the bird made as Ace held it almost made it seem as though he were crying too.

 

After that time, each time that Ace would visit the stables, he would check in on the blue bird. And each time he came, he saw that Chandraneel grew more and more listless. The bird was refusing to eat or drink, and when asked, the chocobo handlers said that the bird was mourning his lost rider. Deep in his heart Ace knew that Chandraneel would not survive, but it was still a massive blow to him when he died.

 

Ace was once again found sitting on the ground of one of isolation stables cradling a dying chocobo. His head was resting against that of the bird as he stroked along the feathers covering the bird's side. Ace was murmuring quiet words to the bird as it struggled to take in breath. The feeble 'wark' he made, eyes fixed upon Ace as he finally shuddered in Ace's arms, the laboured breaths ceased to come as tears slid from blue eyes. Giving the bird one final pat, Ace left to tell a handler.

 

The further away from the stall he got, the emptier Ace began to feel. He was no longer feeling sad, but there seemed to be an even bigger hole in his chest as though someone had ripped important parts of him out.

 

His siblings noticed the difference in him eventually. Gone was the boy that they remembered who studied hard, but knew how to play. The boy that could and would nap anywhere now seemed not to be able to sleep at all. The smiles and laughter that had been rare but beautiful, was seen and heard no longer. If they were to be asked, they would say that the Ace of now was merely a ghost or shell of the former cadet and they could not understand what had brought about these changes so suddenly.

 

It was only when Cinque mentioned that she thought she remembered Ace having a friend that he was always with that was not part of their class, that they realised that they no longer saw them together. Confused as to why the crystal had not removed the memories of this person from Ace's mind to help him move on, she decided to ask him.

 

“I don't know what you're talking about” stated Ace. “I don't think I've lost anyone. I just.......I just have a whole in my chest and I feel as though something or someone is missing from it but I can't remember who or what it is.”

 

When Finis came around and all of the other cadets turned their anger upon them, Ace felt like he was more than ready to die to save everyone. The crushing despair that wrapped it's clinging arms around him was making it hard to continue on as he had before. If his sacrifice could save his siblings then anything would be worth it.

 

It was as they faced off against Cid himself, that the knowledge that none of them would survive nearly made Ace falter. The fight was hard and it was long, and each of them gave it their all. When finally Cid was defeated they stood triumphant, yet defeated for none would leave the chamber alive.

 

As they lay trying to hold and comfort each other, the crystal's hold on their memories weakened. Names of people that they had lost flooded into their minds, filling them all with grief.

 

' _Why would the crystal do such a thing?'_ They cried out in their minds. Was it not enough that they were to be forgotten too? Must they live their last moments knowing and regretting everyone that they had lost? Was there to be no peace in this world for them?

 

One by one, each sibling finally succumbed to their wounds. The memories of the fallen were not taken by the crystal this time though, and so each remembered their comrades. Peace was theirs at last, their fight was over and it was time for them to rest.

 

For Ace, the memories that flooded into his mind were of a beautiful man. Indigo hair, blue eyes and the kindest smile. Warmth, laughter, love. Kurasame, his best friend and the love of his life. He remembered picnics at the chocobo stables, meetings in the Crystairum, receiving the little chocobo made of ice as a birthday present and finally the last memory that he had was of gentle hands caressing him. Bodies joined together, rapture, love, _everything_.

 

 _'Ah'_ thought Ace. _'So that's who I've been missing. Kurasame, my heart, I'm sorry for being late.'_

 

Ace rose his hand towards the sky as though reaching out for another's hand. _'Please wait for me my Love.'_

 

Ace's hand fell and his eyes started to close. His strength was gone and his life was fading. As he felt himself be swallowed by death's warm embrace, he felt a warm hand upon the side of his face and gentle lips brush against his own.

 

_'Always Beloved. I will wait for you forever.'_

 


End file.
